What you read is what you get...

In the words of Rihanna "Big cities. Bright lights."

2010-08-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Last night was kind of a big night for me. And by kind of, I mean, "Holy shit this is a moment I will never forget!" That moment, my friends, was my premiere on the silver screen. I was on a freaking movie theater screen, yall!! Me. A short film I did called Midsummer was part of an event called the Houston Summer Sneak Peek, where four short films all made by Houston filmmakers were screened for the public. The event was sold out, which means 500 people saw me perform. It was amazing and exciting and scary and nerve-wrecking all at the same time. As the opening credits to the film began I was chanting in my head, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." I even wanted to throw up in my mouth a little...but I didn't.

The River Oaks Theatre Marque. How cool is that?

What made the evening that much more memorable and exciting were the fact that my co-workers were there to support me. I work with the most amazing group of people. People who who have kids at home and who live out in BFE and have piles of work to do but who all put those things aside in order to come to my movie premiere. That's rare. So to my colleagues I want to say thank you. Thank you for encouraging me and for supporting me. It really means a lot. Yall are the greatest group of people to have by your side as your character lights a joint with her sisters on the silver screen. I feel truly blessed to work alongside people like you all.

My MMI Peeps
Not everyone in this photo was able to make it last night, and there are others who came that aren't in this photo (It's the only office photo I had, OK?! Get off my back). Movie attendees missing from this photo are: Susan Oakland, Kay Kayachith, Shane Baker and Maggie McDonald. Thanks so much for coming out, guys!!

For those of you near and dear to me who couldn't make it out last night, I am defriending you on Facebook right now. Just kidding. What I really want to say is that hopefully there will be many more chances for you to catch me on the movie theater screen.

Last night was really incredible, and my dream is to relive that feeling over and over again.

Girls of Midsummer
L to R: Director, Renee Edd; Actress Emily Hervey;
Actress, Sarah Stubbs (Me!) and Production Asst, Anna Peterek

Proud to be an American

2010-07-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 4th of July. (Happy belated Independence Day!) My friend Erica and I met up with our co-worker Rick, his girlfriend Daniella and her sister Emilia (oh and Cha Cha and Cachito, they're dogs) at the Miller Outdoor Theater to catch the fireworks. Parking was insane, but once we got settled on the hilltop with our cooler of water, beer, carrots, ranch dip, turkey slices, cheese and a whole loaf of bread, which Rick repeatedly made fun of us for, we no longer cared that we just lugged all that crap a million miles and up a hill. Yes, a million miles. I kept count.

The weather was pleasant. It wasn't so hot that you wanted to shave your head and lie naked in a tub of ice, so that's always good. And once the sun set it was even better. The Houston Orchestra played patriotic music, and then it was time for fireworks. As I stood there watching those beautiful bursts of color and light shoot up into the sky I became overwhelmed with appreciation and pride and hope. I was so grateful to be an American, to live in such an incredible country where freedom is not a privilege but a right. I was also proud to be an American. I looked around me and saw Mexican-Americans, Asian-Americans, African-Americans, Indian-Americans all together gazing up into the sky and losing themselves in the power of those fireworks. You see, those fireworks were much more than bold colors and bright lights. They represented humanity, peace, and hope. It felt almost magical looking up into the night and feeling like anything is possible...And it is. Life is full of so many amazing moments. Sometimes we forget that and take for granted the little miracles that happen every day. July 4th reminds us how far we've come as a nation and how wonderful life in America is.

I want to say thank you to every member of our nation's armed forces--past, present and future. So many have fought and died so that we could enjoy our freedom and our liberties. So that we could have a voice and be heard. Thank you. Thank you for you selfless sacrifice. For those who have died, may you live for eternity in a special place in Heaven, and for those who are still fighting, may God bring you home safely.

God bless America!

Too legit. Too legit to quit...Ever

2010-07-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a legit actress now...well, once I turn in my signed contract I will be. And I am so stoked about it! Yesterday I met with a talent agent from Pastorini-Bosby Talent (PB Talent), Houston's most well-known agency. They saw a couple of monologues that I did and offered me representation. Yesterday's meeting was to discuss how the agent-talent relationship works and get a contract.

My agent, Cindi Davis, was so friendly and personable, which made me feel very comfortable right from the start. She said she saw my monologues and that they were terrific, some of the best she has seen (I almost cried when I heard that, just sayin'). She asked me what classes I've taken, and when I said none, she said, "Wow. That's impressive. You just have that natural, God-given talent to act. You don't see that anymore." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I kept asking myself, "Is this real?" I can't even begin to describe how I felt at that moment and am still feeling now. When you want something so much, with your whole heart, you feel protective of it. Your sensitive about it and fearful that you may lose it. And for me, that fear of loss, that I might have to let go of a dream I've had all my life, is what kept me from going after it. I was scared that if I tried acting someone might tell me I'm bad and that would destroy me. So to hear that I'm not only skilled but have a natural, God-given talent is unlike anything I can describe. It makes me want to smile and cry and laugh and scream and jump up and down and stand completely still. It's a moment you want to get lost in and never find your way out of. I'm still living in that moment now.

We all have dreams. From the time we are little we all aspire to be something. And as we grow up those dreams change and manifest and expand and some go off our radar all together (I could not have been a paleontologist. Me and heat and dirt and digging. Not friends). Some of those dreams are HUGE and outlandish and fueled by hope. They are dreams you fear you have a one in a billion shot at reaching, dreams that others tell you you'll never fulfill. But it is so important that you not listen to those people. Ignore anyone who tries to convince you that you can't have something. Even, no especially, when that person is yourself. We are often times the biggest road block between ourselves and our dreams.

My biggest dream is to be an actress, to be on the big screen, to walk the red carpet and win an Oscar. Are those big dreams? Yes. Are they hard to achieve? Yes. But will that hinder my ability to go after them? NO. For the longest time I let myself keep me from pursuing my dream. I provided myself with excuse after excuse. And then last year I decided that I was no longer going to set by and watch my dream dissipate, leaving me with regret and constantly asking, "What if?". The feeling you get knowing that you are going after what you want is almost as good as getting what you want. So many people don't even try to achieve their dreams, so just making the effort is a great step forward.

I still have a long way to go before reaching my ultimate goal and a lot of obstacles that I will have to overcome on the way, but I just have to take this one step at a time, day by day. And then one day I'll look up and be standing on top of the world : )

I know this post is long and likely even boring, but I just want everyone to know that you CAN have anything you want. Anything. You just have to be willing to work for it and, at times, fight for it. When I was little and told my mom I wanted to be an actress she was completely supportive but said, "Just know that no one from Hollywood is just going to come knock on our door one day and say 'We want to put your daughter in a movie.'" In other words, you have to work for what you want. So please, please, please, if you have a dream, no matter how big or small, go for it. It's yours.

Before I shut up I want to say thank you to my amazing family for the unconditional support and encouragement. I am so, so blessed. Without my family and friends behind me, empowering me to keep going, my dream would always be just a dream. Thank you for giving me the strength to follow my heart. I love you all.

So it turns out I's gots skillz

2010-05-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

So Tuesday night was a big milestone for me. It was the screening of the first movie I ever acted in, and it was the first time I ever watched myself. Needless to say I was a nervous wreck...on the inside, of course. You wouldn't have none that I simultaneously felt the urge to vomit, pee on myself and cry. I hid it well...I am an actress after all.

My Aunt Linda was there for moral support. For family and friends reading this who feel a bit perturbed that you didn't get an invite to this screening, unclench your fists because I didn't invite anyone. Linda found out because she is a member of the film group. And the reason I didn't tell anyone was because this was my first movie and first screening. If I was horrible, I didn't want all my loved ones to witness it. So anyway, Linda was there, which was great because should I have needed a hand to squeeze or a leg to dig my nails in to, I had one.

As the movie played, I anxiously awaited my scenes. The way I felt watching myself on TV is hard to explain. It's almost as if I was watching someone else, like it didn't sink in that that was me. Me. I was, of course, analyzing and critiquing every little thing I said or did. I sat on the front row, and once the movie was over I remember thinking, "Am I going to turn around and meet a room full of people scornfully staring at me, shaking their heads in disappointment? Or will I see smiling faces that produce words of praise?" I sat there a while, fixed on the blank TV in front me, awaiting the courage to turn around and see the audience reaction. When I finally did, I was met with...compliments, congratulations, hugs and smiles. OK, Sarah. You can breathe now. You did it.

To hear from my peers that I am talented, that I did an awesome job, that my acting is pure and believable was an incredible moment for me. One I will never forget. In that moment I finally had the strength to believe in myself. Having never had others watch me before, I could only hope I had talent, but I no longer have to hope for it, I can say I have it. And that is a moment of self worth I am grateful to have gained.

This screening was just the motivation I needed to keep pursuing my dream. One that I now feel is attainable.

Excuse me Motherhood, you can take a number and wait.

2010-05-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Some names and photos in this post have been changed to protect the identity of those involved...and maybe also to appease their mother. Mostly the latter.

Disclaimer 2: None of the kids featured in this post are up for adoption...just sayin'

So yesterday evening I babysat my nephew Percy (fake name), 5 on the verge of 6, his brother Elias (also fake), 2 1/2, and our cousin Alex, also 2. As always, when I babysit I get a small dose of motherhood, but last night, with 3 boys, I got a dose that no spoonful of sugar would help go down.

I brought Alex and his big brother Joe over to my brother's house around 6pm. Pizza arrived promptly after...and the evening began. (side note: I don't include Joe in the list of kids I babysat because he's 13. If you have a couch and a laptop, done. I will say that it was helpful to have him there to go outside with the boys so that I could clean up. But I am ahead of myself here). I begin preparing the dinner plates one by one, while simultaneously participating in this conversation.

Percy: Alex, stop. I can't hear the movie.
Me: Alex, come play with that toy in here. Elias, you're food is ready.
Elias: Yay!
Me to Elias: What do you want to drink?
Percy: Alex, stop it.
Me: Alex, come in here, please.
Elias: Orange juice.
Me: Percy, ready for your pizza?
Percy: I don't want pizza.
Me: Well, you have to eat dinner.
Percy: But I don't want pizza. Alex, stop!
Me: Well how about a sandwich? Alex, put the toy down it's time to eat.
Percy: OK.
Me: PB&J no crust?
Percy: Yes.

Then once all three plates were ready, the next scene plays out as more of a monologue.

Me: Elias, come sit down and eat. Alex, don't put your fork in the toy box. Percy, you need to go eat your sandwich. Alex, Elias, come back to the table and eat. Percy, don't forget to eat your blueberries. Alex, where's you fork? Here Elias, wipe your hands on this not the table.

Fun times. After everyone had eaten, Joe took them all outside to play soccer, which gave me a LITTLE break to clean up and start laundry...That would be my laundry for those wondering. My dryer broke, and I had a load in the wash so I brought it over to dry it. Just clarifying in case you were thinking, "Wow. When she babysits she does the laundry too? Lets hire her." Umm, negative. I hate washing my own clothes, so I'm definitely not washing yours.

The cleaning break was short-lived, however, because I knew it would be a hard task for Joe to watch all three boys while also trying to entertain himself. So there I was following Elias around the yard because he held a baseball bat that I just knew was going to end up smacking Alex, who liked to stand in swinging range from Elias. Once Elias dropped the bat, I seized the opportunity to put it away. I turned my back for one second and a loud cry ensues. I turn around to see Elias in tears with skittle-flavored drool running down his chin. While frantically trying to figure out what happened, I discovered that he was mad at Joe for tickling him. So inside I go with Elias, who I clean up and put PJs on. Then in comes Percy. "He hurt my finger." "Who?" "Joe." "How?" "The ball." "Joe, what happened?" "I kicked the ball, and when he went to catch it he jammed his finger." "Percy, let me see. It looks fine. Are you OK?" "Yeah." "OK. Let me clean your face and get your PJs."

Bedtime was a feat all of it's own. Getting one kid to sleep can be taxing, three was damn near impossible. I put all three boys in Percy's bed to read to them. It was a good idea in theory. Things were off to a good start, but then Alex wanted to get down. I decided to lay him on the couch with Joe until I got Percy and Elias to sleep. I continue reading but am interrupted by fits of laughter. Elias is flopping about like a fish out of water. Percy starts laughing, which makes Elias laugh and inspires him to keep flopping around. I put my adult voice on and threatened to separate them. That method only worked for a grand total of 5 minutes. So I had to stick to my word and take Elias to his room and rock him. After he is good and drowsy I lay him in his bed...and he cries. I walk out and see if he will soothe himself. He does. Score! Then down the hallway comes Alex. Talking. That wakes Elias up. He cries. I go into Elias' room, and Alex, being curious as to why there is a crying baby, follows me. As I am rocking Elias again, Alex lays on a pillow-chair...and starts playing with a toy on the ground. I want to get him to stop, but Elias is sleeping on my chest so speaking in my normal voice may wake him. So I start whispering firmly, which if you've ever tried is not really that authoritative. "Ssp. Alex. Stop. Ssp. Hey. Stop." He eventually got the message. I put Elias back in bed. He cried again. I lied and said I had to use the restroom and would be right back. It worked. I didn't come back.

Two down. One to go. I must mention that at this point I had some perspiration going on. Was I jogging? No. On the treadmill. Nuh-uh. Doing exercise of any kind? Nope. But I now think putting three small kids to sleep at one time should be a part of the triathlon competitions. Lets see them do that. I took Alex into another room and sang to him until he fell asleep. Or maybe he just pretended to be asleep so I would stop singing. Either way, baby number 3 was out.

My brother and sister-in-law arrived home shortly after Alex went down. I gave them a brief recap of the night then scooped up Alex and headed out the door. It was there on the front porch with my purse on one shoulder and a sleeping baby Alex on the other that I realized that having this life would be completely satisfying. That motherhood, with it's snotty noses, sleepless nights and temper tantrums, will be the most fulfilling life of all....Not now, though. I'm good just babysitting. So motherhood, even though I turn all the lights off and pretend I'm not home when you knock on the door and don't answer the phone when you call, one day I will open the blinds and put out the welcome mat and be glad to have you. But how about booking a vacation until Mr. Right comes knocking on my door first? Deal?

I dedicate this post to Joe, Percy, Elias, Mason, Alex, Max and Everett. My boys. I love you all so much and enjoy every minute I spend with you. You give me all the perks of motherhood because I get to see you laugh and play and grow and learn...and then when you throw a fit or fall down and scrape your knee or have too much sugar, I get to go home : )

Joe (this pic is two years old)

Percy & Elias

Mason

Alex

Max

Everett

Sawyer Park, I dub thee King Douche Bag. Now kiss my ass!

2010-05-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

I am livid! Why? Because last night a Houston sports bar - Sawyer Park on Washington Ave - would not let my best friend in their establishment because, get this, his pant legs were too baggy. For real? Like for real, for real? Turns out they were for real.

News flash Sawyer Park, you're an effing sports bar not an upscale club. People wear casual clothes to sports bars in case you missed that memo. And let me make the point that my friend's pant legs were no baggier than any other guy's pants that we saw inside. No. Baggier. It was the lamest excuse I had ever heard of, and I am outraged and appalled. Lets makes this clear, we are not talking about baggy pants in the sense that the waist was at his knees. He does not sag his jeans. The actual portion of his pants leg was too baggy according to the Ass Wipes at Sawyer Park. What they hell do they want, effing skinny jeans?

The douchey doorman could not even maintain eye contact with us because he knew he was being a shit bag. When I asked for the manager, that ball sweat asshole could only keep saying, "We have a strict dress code." Oh really? So you need to be snazy to go to a sports bar now? That means the guy inside with the t-shirt, khaki shorts and tennis shoes on should have been asked to leave, right? Oh no wait. That guy was white. Yep, I went there. I pulled out the race card. And I'm white. It was obvious that the real reason they would not let my friend was in because he is black. And here's the kicker: he's not even black. He is Puerto Rican and just looks black. As we looked around the bar, we noticed nothing but white people there last night. Coincidence? I do not think so.

So Sawyer Park, I hope termites infest your wood-structured bar and rid this world of such a trashy, ass backwards, piece of shit establishment.

The ultimate look in douchebaggery

Google the mind reader

2010-03-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

Inspired by a blog post made by The Bloggess (http://thebloggess.com/?p=5585), I decided to put random words into Google to see what its Sylvia Browne-robot predicts I'm going to type. Remember Google, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me...but mostly you. Then I made note of my favorites and have decided to share those with you. You're welcome.

Word typed:
-Was...
What Google assumed I was trying to ask:
-Was Jesus black? (yes, this is exactly what I was going to ask! that's incredible!)
-Was not was (now you're just fucking with me, Google)

Word typed:
-Can...
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-Can I has cheeseburger? (umm no, but i'll gladly give you a grammar book)

Words typed:
-How about...
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-How about that ride in hangover? (what state is hangover in? i'm pretty sure i've been there)
-How about a friendly shrink? (as in a psychiatrist, or you want to make me really small while being nice about it?)

Words typed:
-What do...
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-What do tigers dream? (i bet they dream about biting your head off for asking such a stupid question)

"I cannot wait to maul the moron who asked about my dreams."

Words typed:
-Why does...
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-Why does poop float? (you must have eaten something really light that day)

Words typed:
-When might...
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-When might you hear the miranda warning? (when your ass is being arrested)

Umm, what's sticking out of this guy's stomach?

Word typed:
-Where
What Google assumed I was going to ask:
-Where is Santa right now? (when it's not christmas he always goes on a cruise. duh.)

And you thought you were having a bad day...

2010-02-24T15:15:00.000-08:00

Story of the year...maybe even the decade. I will refrain from mentioning my source, as not to invoke humiliation, or rather invoke further humiliation. I was given permission to share this story as long as I kept the storyteller anonymous.

Ladies, we can all raise our hand and testify that at some point in our life we have either shaved, trimmed, buzzed, clipped, waxed, cropped, dyed, jeweled or bedazzled our nether regions. The reasons behind our actions vary. Sometimes we know our Lady of the Nile is having company, and everyone wants a clean house before visitors arrive. Sometimes we just have a lot going on down there and for comfort reasons we shape things up. Other times we're bored and want to see if we could have ever made it as a hair stylist. Whatever the reason may be, we women can all relate to pruning the hedges at some point. The tools of the trade are either a razor, scissors, clippers or a woman with hot wax and paper strips.

Today's tale begins as most do, with a woman in the shower cleaning up downtown as she has done many times throughout her years. (Most tales begin that way, right?) Her tool of choice? Scissors. Now this choice may seem ordinary or mundane, but when you combine that decision with early morning grogginess, you, my friend, have just mixed together the ingredients for disaster--a sharp object and an unsteady hand.

My phone rings:

Me: Hello
She Who Remains Anonymous: Are you ready for this?
Me: Yes....?
SWRA: I am on my way to the doctor to get stitches (pause)...in my labia!
Me: WHAT?!
SWRA: I have to get my labia stitched up?
Me: Why?! What happened?
SWRA: I was trimming my girlie parts with scissors and cut it in half!
Me: Are you kidding me?
SWRA: No. No, I am not. I tried to close it up with those butterfly band aids, but they wont stay.
Me: (laughing hysterically) No way!
SWRA: Yep. And to top it off, my gyno, who has seen my girlie parts many times, is out of town for a week, so I have to go to my general doctor, who is an attractive man.
Me: (tears of laughter now falling down my face)
SWRA: I mean, how am I supposed to explain this?
Me: I don't know, but call me when it's over. I have to know how it goes.

Later that afternoon my phones rings again.

SWRA: Four stitches and $285 later, here I am. $285! I could have gotten it a professional perm for $285. A fresh fade and a dye job. Ugh!
Me: How was it?
SWRA: Well, I told the doctor I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to get it over with...And getting local anesthesia in my noo-noo fucking hurts like shit! Just FYI.
Me: (laughing) Yeah it does! I had to get shots down there before, and I cried.
SWRA: Oh, and you couldn't have given me a little heads up on that?
Me: (laughing more) I forgot. What did you tell the doctor?
SWRA: I said, "I am in sheer pain. No pun intended."
Me: (extreme laughter)
SWRA: So now I have stitches in my hu-ha, and I can't have sex for six weeks. What the hell?
Me: (in tears yet again) OMG! This is all just too hilarious!
SWRA: Hmm. Glad I could amuse you.
Me: I was having a shitty day, but this turned it all around because nothing that has happened to me today even comes close to what has happened to you. So thanks for sharing.
SWRA: Love you too.

I must say that I sensed some sarcasm in that last line.

So there you have it. Someone I know cut their labia in half while trying to trim their girlie parts and had to get stitches. You have to wonder, what the hell kind of scissors were being used? Garden shears? A machete?

Either way, you have to admit that if you were thinking that your day was bad, this takes the cake. Remember this the next time you're running late for work, or you have a flat tire, or your boss gives you a dreadful assignment, or your kids wont go to bed. Simply close your eyes and say, "At least my labia is intact."

Show me the eight of pentacles...

2010-01-08T08:33:00.001-08:00

I have some GREAT news!! My dog, Dax, who I spoke of in my previous post, is NOT going blind. We went to see an eye specialist yesterday, and it was discovered that Dax has an infection that has attacked his body through his eyes. Blood work was done to determine what the infection is, and I will know that on Monday. Both eyes are inflamed and have a cloudy substance in them (not seen by the human eye). With eye drops and antibiotics, Dax will be back to normal soon. I couldn't be happier! And I know it's because of the support I received from my incredible family, friends and co-workers. Thank you! It's just amazing to me that he went from total vision impairment Tuesday night to raising high concern in our vet on Wednesday to being fine on Thursday. Thank you, God! Thank you for answering all our prayers.

To add to that good news...the pilot for the vampire show I've been filming has been picked up by Showtime! This is super exciting news!! However, I will need to prove to the Showtime people that I deserve to keep my part. I will now have to re-audition for the show, and this time I'll be up against c-list Hollywood actresses. The director really wants me to keep my part, which is great, so he told me to bring it in this last scene we are shooting next week. I have to be able to standout from those tall, skinny, hot Hollywood girls and prove that I have the most talent, that I know the role better. And because I've been playing the role and have had one-on-one interaction about the role with the director, I know more about my character than anyone else. I have to use that to my advantage. Everyone please send good thoughts and prayers my way that I get to keep my part. I mean, how awesome would it be to be on Showtime?! It could be my big break : )

Side note about the post title: The eight of pentacles is associated with self-improvement and rewards that bring tremendous joy and satisfaction. If you were competing for something (the role in a TV show, for instance), this would symbolize the first prize. This tells you that success will be yours.

My Dog Needs Your Prayers

2010-01-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

OK. So it's been a VERY long time since my last post. It seems I temporarily forgot how to take words and form coherent sentences with them. I didn't think anyone would enjoy a post that said: Yellow monkey lawnmower twisted lawsuit. I mean, how would you know that I was telling you that a yellow monkey was riding my lawnmower when he twisted his ankle, and now I face a lawsuit. But after some tedious therapy I can once again form sentences.

That's my lame attempt at humor. It's the best I got. Right now I am trying my darnedest to be optimistic. Trying desperately to avoid the voice inside my head that's telling me to breakdown and cry. I just want to submerge myself in water in hopes that it will wash my worry away. The concern I have is for my dog Dax.

Dax is my little angle. The sweetest puppy you'll ever meet. So full of life. Loves to run and play and give kisses. Which is why I knew something was up when I came home last night and he was acting so different, so lost. He was disoriented. Sniffing everything in the house like he was sniffing it for the first time. He would bump into things like he didn't see them at all. I would hold my finger or a toy in front of his face and move it from side to side, but he didn't follow it. He just stared blankly into space. His face was empty. I, of course, panicked and started crying because I was so scared for him. I mean, he must have been so confused, so scared. The vet was closed at this time, so I just waited until the morning to get him looked at. I slept with him snuggled close to my chest so that he felt safe and so that I could tell if something went wrong in the middle of the night. I woke up several times to make sure he was OK.

This morning he could see just fine. He went down the stairs into the backyard, which is previously was too scared to do, just like normal. I tested him again with my finger and a toy, and he followed it just fine. Hope was restored. However, I still took him to the vet to get checked out, to make sure there wasn't something I was missing.

The vet called me a bit ago to say that she is sending Dax to an eye specialist. My heart sank. My breath gone. She said that he'll follow her finger and walk in a straight line like normal, but that when she shines a light into his eyes neither one restricts. And when she used her special lens to see the structures behind his eye, she saw nothing. Her concern is that he has Progressive Retinal Degeneration, which is untreatable and inevitably leads to blindness. He is seeing a specialist on Tuesday. That feels like it's forever away. I want Dax tested now...but I can't do anything about that. I am on a cancellation list. If someone cancels I'll get their spot.

I'm just so upset. I don't want Dax to go blind. I hate to think that he'll never see his mommy's face again. And it breaks my heart to think about what he's feeling, to suddenly lose his sight. I am praying so hard that he does not have PRD, that what he has is curable and treatable. And I need your prayers as well. Please.

If he does go blind I will love him just the same. He will still be my precious baby. I will sit down with the vet to go over with her what to do when you're dog loses sight, and we'll go from there. Until we see the specialist I am going to love on Dax and comfort him and just make sure he feels at ease with his surroundings.

Please pray for him.

Update...Cause I know You Care

2009-11-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

So it's been quite some time since my last post. I have now been living on my own for almost 3 weeks. It took some adjusting, but I've come to love it. And I can't help but be a bit proud of myself. As someone who always had to have some around for comfort and safety, I thought living alone would be a big feat for me. However, after the first few times I grew to enjoy my independence. I felt like...well, like a real adult. My mom came over, and we rearranged all the furniture. I redecorated my bathroom. I cook myself whatever I want for dinner. I decide what I watch on TV. And I get the whole bed to myself (no fighting for room or covers). Sure, I will once again welcome that constant companion, someone I share my life with again, but for now I am going to revel in this new-found independence and be grateful for it.

On the acting front, I have been cast in a new vampire show that is being pitched to Showtime. We are getting ready to film the pilot starting Saturday. I am Linda, a human who works for a vampire and who desperately wants to become a vampire...and enevtually I do. I am very excited because I get to play a human and then later a vampire, which allows me great range as an actress. I am super excited about this project. It's pretty dang cool, and it's a different take on vampires than what we've seen so far in movies and shows. It's already gotten some great interest. This one is the real deal. I've signed my contract and will be getting paid for my work. And then when it gets picked up, I will get paid from its success. I am just so thrilled right now and can't wait to start filming my scenes.

Well, I am exhausted. Work is CA-RAZY this week as I prepare for The Vintage Harvest Festival this Saturday at Vinatage Park. Everyone is invited. We will have art, food, wine, beer, kids activities, live music and a big screen in the Piazza showing football...so no excuses from the men. It's all free except for the wine & beer garden. That is $20 for 10 tastes or $50 to taste as you choose. Go to http://www.vintageharvestfest.com/ for directions and details...or ask me.

PS: I ate live ants today by accident, so I'm probably gonna wake up tomorrow with super powers. So...

He's Really Gone

2009-10-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

It is through constant yawning and swollen eyes that I write this post today. All day yesterday I helped Adam pack his stuff and move into his new apartment. We were moving nonstop from 11:30 am to 8:00 pm, at which time we stopped to watch Dexter, then we made a final trip at 9:30 pm. We were going so fast and staying so busy that is wasn't until that last trip to his new place that everything hit me all at once. I stayed strong for as long as I could. I helped him set up his kitchen without shedding a single tear. I hung his new shower curtain without the slightest despair. I put clothes in his closet, helped him lay out his furniture, placed his toothbrush in his new bathroom cabinet all the while holding my composure...until it came time for that final goodbye. As we stood in the parking lot hugging each other one last time, I lost it. This is it. I cried like a baby the whole way home and kept crying as I walked through MY front door and into MY living room. As I made MY bed and watched MY television. These things were no longer ours. I must confess that it hurt...a lot.

I found such comfort in falling alseep each night knowing that Adam was in the other room, mere seconds away. It was nice to have dinner with someone every night, to laugh with someone when the dogs did something crazy, to share my life with the same person for four years. And now that's all gone. I was in mourning last night. In mourning over the loss of a lifestyle I had come to know, the loss of a campion I had come to depend on as a constant fixture in my life. I walked from room to room when I got home and took in all the changes, all the empty space. It's a whole new house, one that I will have to get used to. It even feels different. The energy has changed. The house is in mourning too.

But although I have some tough nights ahead of me, I find solace in knowing that this was the right decision. These next few months are going to be spent healing, adjusting and beginning anew. I can steer my life in whatever direction I choose, and that is amazing. After a few nights the tears will subside, and eventually it will feel like home again.

I want to thank my incredible family and friends for all their love and support. I could not do this without you. I am just so lucky to have you all in my life and want you to know that I'm forever grateful.

Change

2009-10-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

Last post was Sept. 23. Holy cow! That was like a million years ago. I don't really have an excuse other than I momentarily stopped liking you because you forced me to take special pills that would make my imaginary friend disappear. Then I realized that was the mean mother in Drop Dead Fred that did that, not you. And it wasn't even me she did it to, it was her daughter, Elizabeth played by Phoebe Cates. So in short, I forgive you.

Right now my life is kind of in a whirlwind. It's like a hurricane, and I'm the eye in the center watching everything fly by me. Rapid change will do that to a person. What in my life is changing, you ask? Well, my boyfriend, Adam, and I have decided to break up and travel our own life path. He and I had been together for over 4 years. That's a long time. Four years holds a lot of hugs, kisses, laughs, tears, surprises, inside jokes. There are a lot of things that there wont be anymore of. No more cuddling on the couch watching TV, no more saying 'I love you,' no more cooking dinner for two, no more coming home to someone. That's a hard pill to swallow, and it's not going to make any imaginary friend disappear. It's going to make a whole lifestyle disappear...but a new one will grow in its place.

I do not regret this change, I embrace it, welcome it because it is needed. Adam and I just grew a part over the years. It wasn't anything either of us did or didn't do. No one is at fault, no one is a bad person. We're both good people who want different things in life, and that's OK. The best thing to do is to recognize that and let each go our own way rather than pretend it's all fine and wind up resenting one another. I didn't want to resent Adam. He's a great guy with a big heart. We just aren't in love anymore, and someone needed to say it out loud. It was so hard to do, but once I got it out there was instant relief. Anger, denial and tears followed, but that all subsided so that understanding, agreement and acceptance could emerge. I am so thankful that Adam and I can continue to be friends.

I would like to say that I don't regret the relationship we had. I don't for one second think our time together was a waste. I will walk away with some great memories that I will cherish forever. I will walk away having grown as a person and spiritually. I'm a better person for being with Adam, and I'm grateful for that. The next month will definitely have it's rough patches. I will have to get used to waking up alone. When I come home, I now have to know that no one will be coming in behind me. Going to bed without hearing The Mist or a PS3 gaming playing in the living room will be an adjustment : ) But as time goes on, a new routine will emerge, new habits will form, new realities will suddenly seem as though they've always been. This is an opportunity that he and I have both been given. The opportunity to mold our lives exactly the way we want them. The future is waiting for us to assemble it, shape it. The future is in my grasp, and I am reaching out.

A note to Adam: I know this isn't how we saw things playing out, but sometimes the greatest moments in life are the unexpected ones. I will cherish the time we had together and hold dear to the memories we've made. I wish you all the best as you conquer the future. You are smart and creative and filled with passion. Use those things. Thank you for understanding that this is a good decision for us, and thank you for opening your mind to the idea of a better life for us both. You're in my heart always.

The rantings of a crazy, peed on pizza

2009-09-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

(GREAT BIG SIGH) I'm a bit discombobulated. Lots going on. Lots on my mind. Let me sum it up for you here because I know you have nothing better to do than read the goings on of my life...Which probably makes you a loser, but I'm not all judgy so don't sweat it.

First of all, the audition I had this past Saturday was the fastest audition EVER! Now I know I've only been on a grand total of 3 auditions, but I consulted Brad about it...that's Brad Pitt, by the way...and he even agreed that it was the fastest audition of all time. I checked in, filled out two forms, went into a room full of people, watched someone audition, I auditioned and then watched someone else audition all in 10 minutes. It was like the speed dating of auditions. I walked out of there having NO IDEA how to feel about it.

I mean, the director went through everyone super fast. No one was asked to read their monologue, and people who had more than 5 lines in their given scene didn't even get to finish. It was weird. I think there was a time crunch happening. And I came to this conclusion because the director kept saying, "Sorry. I don't mean to be brash, but I'm running out of time." I know, I'm a real detective putting two and two together like that. So anyway, I felt blah afterward and was a bit POed that I paid $6 to park when I could have paid $2. I didn't do the $2 option because the director's email said to be prepared to stay 90 min. So there's that.

Moving on...I just found out that my dog, Lola, has urine incontinence. Translation. She pees in her sleep. And she sleeps in bed with me. Wonderful. She has no idea she is peeing and doesn't even wake up during or after. It isn't until my foot stumbles upon a wet spot that I know she has peed. Then everyone has to get up at 4am while I strip the bed, and then we all sleep elsewhere. She is now on medication and will have to be on it for the rest of her life. My poor baby : ( This probably explains why she's been so down lately. She's ashamed. She knows peeing inside is a no-no, and even though she has no control over this at all, I think she still feels like she's been a bad girl.

So I am being an understanding mommy. I tell her it's OK and that the medicine should start working soon. In the meantime, she goes outside right before bedtime, and then I hope for the best. Silver lining. I have super clean sheets. I do ask that you pray for the medicine to work because if not we have to take more extensive action. Urine incontinence is due to a low level of estrogen. Last resort is that Lola will have to get hormone injections, which carries side effects. Don't want to travel that road so please pray.

Oh no, I'm not done bitching yet. There's more. MY FACE! All this stress has made my face retaliate in the worst way...OK, maybe not in the worst way. My face could have fallen off completely, which really would be the worst thing, but it has done the second worst thing. Broken out. Ugh!!! Hate it. True story. This kid ran up and bit my face today mistaking it for a pepperoni pizza.

Can you believe that? Well don't. It's a lie. I know I said it was a true story, but I was lying. No, that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe everything else I've said so far. Get over your trust issues. Lets work past this. OK. True story for reals. When I look at myself in the mirror I throw up a little....Yes, that's technically a lie too, but not completely. I FEEL like throwing up, I just have a tough stomach. Otherwise I totally would. To add salt to the wound (the wound being my vanity), I am supposed to be in a short film this weekend. Who wants to see this mug on film? Not me. I am desperately hoping the shoot gets rescheduled. Please, please, please.

So yeah, that's what I got going for me. I could go on and on, but we both know you'd cry, both for me and because of me. Lets save those tears. Hope your life is less stressful than mine. Adios.

WHOOP WHOOP! ANOTHER AUDITION!

2009-09-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

First let me update you on the last post I made about an audition. It was for the part of Summer on a TV show called Toonagers. (You can catch up here is you missed that one). I didn't get the part of Summer, but the producers were very impressed by my audition and have asked me to take on another role. What that will be is to be determined. They are in the process of creating said character for me. Once they have a list of possible roles for me to play they will let me choose the one I like best. So even though I didn't get the role I read for, I have still been asked to be on the show and have received some pretty awesome compliments. The producers said that of all the auditions, no one had anywhere near my level of professionalism and craft, and they said I looked great on camera. Pretty cool to hear, right?

They wanted me to meet the lead actor, so I went to see his band perform this past Saturday at The Mink downtown. They're really good--Electric Attitude is the name if you want to check them out. I got to meet him briefly, as he was busy making the rounds, and he mentioned that he watched my audition tape and said I was really good. Hearing these things from people I don't know feels really good. As someone just getting their toes wet in acting and having had no training whatsoever, it's easy to wonder if you're any good, if you even have the slightest bit of talent. Seems as though I'm not too shabby...either that or these people are lying to me so that I don't drowned myself in my tears. I'm gonna go with the former here.

While this is going on I submitted my headshot and resume to a director--Travis Ammons--who is working on a film in Houston called The Suicide Note (or Suicide Notes). It's a darker film but one with a mix of comedy. Here's the synopsis: Struggling playwright Julian Parker has sold his first play, THE SUICIDE NOTE. Despite the play ending in tragedy (the lead commits suicide), crazy naked director and local theatre legend Don Paulson wants to produce the play for a limited-three night-engagement. His gimmick is to cast three different actors in the lead role, each of whom are willing to commit suicide, literally, on stage at the end of the show. This dark satire about where modern media and reality TV are possibly taking us deals with the playwright and his moral dilemma over having these possible suicides on his conscience as well as delving into the lives and relationships of the director (and his sexy, money hungry producer) and the three “suicidal” actors who are cast in the play.

Interesting, right? I think so. It's slated to have some known actors involved, which is exciting. So like I said, I sent my headshot and asked if there is a role for a young, caucasian, blond female, and I got an email back from Travis that said my audition is this Sat. at 3pm. He attached a brief scene from the script (I am reading for the part of the punk girls. Which one they are looking for me to play, I don't know at this point. I may read for all three. One of them is one of the girls who commits suicide in the play). I also have to prepare a 30 second theatrical monologue. I think I'm going to read a monologue from Louise Hovick aka Gypsy Rose Lee from the play Gypsy. Got to start prepping tonight : ) I have the scene from the film memorized, I just need to work on the details on the characters' persona.

So, wish me luck! I am nervous and excited.

My Trip to Playa del Carmen!!

2009-09-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know and others may not, I recently returned from a girls trip in Playa del Carmen. (First day there)

Hands down best vaca ever! Loved every moment of it...especially the massages on the beach. Yep, that's what I said. On. The. Beach. Be jealous...No seriously, be jealous.

I went with me two besties, Carrie & Julie, and had a great time. We sunbathed on the beautiful beach, went snorkeling, drank in the pool, ate, ate and ate some more, met tons of cool people, went out at night. It was just awesome! And to sweeten the deal, we had this in our hotel room...

Oh yeah! And how much was it to drink this alcohol? NADA! That's right, free. It was included in our package. How cool is that? Pretty dang if you ask me.

Because Julie and Carrie are two of the fun and funniest girls I know, we had a lot of laughs on our trip. And some crazy things happened too. Like, I had a spider monkey jump up on my shoulder.

And while I was walking to the beach one morning, a gardner asked me if I liked coconut. I said sure. Next thing I know he whips out a machete (a MACHETE, y'all!), grabs a coconut he got from one of the hotel tress, carves out the top, sticks a straw in it and gives it to me. Not an everyday thing for me. So I continue my walk to the beach with a huge ass coconut in my hand sipping juice from a straw. Then, while chillaxin' in the kids pool (no kids in it at the time), we saw this...

We named him Fernando. Not sure what the hell he is. He looked like a rat-pig thing. And I got stung by a bee for the first time in my life. I made it 25 years without getting stung by anything. I must say that I feel all grown up now. It stung for a bit, so nurse Carrie went up to this group of people (that knew no english by the way), asked for a cig, broke it a part and put the tobacco on my wound. Not sure what she was going for there. Apparently it's better to use dip.

I will say that we were all surprised by how European it is there. We met no other Americans. But we did meet people from Wales, England, Norway, Scotland, Spain, Italy. It was awesome! Being around all those accents was so cool. Being around all those topless women and speedo-wearing men...kinda weird.

I will also note that I did get color on this trip, brown not red, which is rare. Pretty exciting for a whitey like me to get a natural tan. I like it! Can't wait to go back : )

NEW AUDITION!

2009-08-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

So, wow. I am posting two days in a row. This is monumental. HUGE. Get excited...So are you?What do you mean Am I what? Excited? Well fine, I don't care. Be a crappy friend. Because you're not excited, my self esteem has gone down, making me depressed and angry, which provoked me to throw my scissors across the office, hitting someone in the eye. Now she's crying and bleeding everywhere. Her loud crying (really, she's overdoing it if you ask me) made everyone come running out to see what the chaos is about, wherein another colleague of mine slipped in the blood of my now one-eyed colleague and now that person has a concussion and amnesia. Everyone is looking at me like I'm the one responsible when really it's you. I'm probably gonna get fired now, not be able to pay my rent, get kicked out of my house and forced to live on the streets with my dogs, who I will have to pimp out to other homeless dogs so I can feed us all. Hope you're happy. You are the reason there's dog prostitution.

Oh, what? Feeling guilty that young, innocent pups are having to give up what's sacred to them because you can't display an emotion? Want to get excited now? Thought so.

Here's why I'm excited: I got another audition! This time it's for a comedy TV show called Toonagers (www.toonagers.tv)

Premise: It's 2010 in Austin, Texas. 22 year old Max Villanueva is a talented illustrator in his final semester at art school. He’s expected to graduate with honors and get an internship at a California studio that is touted as “the next Pixar.” Through an unforseen debacle, Max ends up failing his final, losing the internship, and forced to remain in Texas. His prospects bleak, Maxy seems on the verge of folding like a pair of pants until one of his best friends, angry computer geek Chuck, helps him acquire an animator’s job at Studio e-1, a small Austin-based company just getting off the ground.

e-1 handles mostly advertising for corporate clients – a far cry from what Max originally sought

– but it pays the bills and provides a workout for his animation skills. All the while, though, he

and Chuck are developing a concept for a program they call "Cel Mates" – the animated adventures of themselves and their crazy Austin friends.

Yes, it's set in Austin, but filming is at a studio in Houston. I will be auditioning for the role of Summer Woolbright: Summer is cut from a different cloth. She is the malfunctioning highbeam that can't be shut off. In life, she has the most flair. Summer was unknown to the other characters until being hired by Todd (boss) as the receptionist. At E-1, the proactive Summer instituted new traditions, including a monthly celebration called "Sparkles," where baked goods she had decorated to resemble the employees were eaten. Optimistic in a way befitting her name, Summer means well, even if some cynics dismiss her as a mere "heinous annoyance."

A favorite target of the boys' practical jokes, Summer's facebook, twitter and myspace pages are regularly mocked, if not hacked. On those sites, she lists her 3 biggest heroes and influences, in order, as Joel Osteen, Ugly Betty, and 50 Cent. She is first to know about all breaking news (refreshing TMZ and Perez Hilton dozens of times per day), and keeps in shape through a combination of river tubing, Nintendo Wii and indoor karaoke cycling. When there's a big job to be done and morale is low, Summer can be counted on to rally and excite the E-1 troops by flexing her muscles and encouraging them to be, "strong like bull!"

I got the script I will audition with yesterday, and it's really funny. Summer would be such a fun character to play. I so hope I get the part! Like Shut Your Blog Off, this too will film on weekends. I think it'll be so cool to go to an actual studio with set changes and wardrobe changes and do a comedy show with a group of talented, young actors. So you have an idea of what kind of humor it entails, Toonagers pulls from the shows The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's not kids comedy, it's cable-TV, adult content comedy.

Wish me luck!

I could be bipolar...or just crazy

2009-08-20T10:03:00.001-07:00

So last night I went to dinner with two beautiful ladies that I worked with at Bernstein & Assoc. (my first PR job). As I was driving home I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have so many amazing people in my life. I mean, I have some awesome friends and family, y'all! Just incredible people that I am blessed to know and have in my life, people that mean so much to me. Old colleagues. Childhood friends. Acting companions. Family members. Current colleagues. To all of you I want to say Thank you! Thank you for coming into my life and making a lasting impression.

I carried those warm, fuzzy thoughts with me all the way home (much like the last little piggie)...until I turned the corner onto my street and saw that the across the street neighbors had parked their car in front of my house again. Those tender, mushy moments I had turned into douchebag this and mother f%*$er that and man, I really want to punch this car in its face or I really have to pee from the wine at the restaurant. Would it be wrong if I pissed on this stupid ass car? But know that during those 15 minutes it took me to drive home, I did experience some heartfelt emotions for all the great people I know and love. You're welcome.

I got an email from mi madre today (yes, I am bilingual. note it...and then erase it cause I'm lying). It was a list of church bulletins thats typos and/or wording made them very funny. Here are highlights of my favs:

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

(Why do I feel like these scouts are going to take a Dr. Pepper can and shank a 5-year-old?)

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

(This church must not have faith that its members know how to cook or they wouldn't be serving up Tums and Pepto afterward)

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

(Ummm, not sure what kind of church this is, but I'm pretty sure they got more worshipers that Friday. I would bet the word 'Church' here refers to a strip club. Just a thought.)

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

(I'm going to that hymn singing! I wonder if it's a 'clothes optional' gathering.)

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

(Now that's just wrong)

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

(That's a little rude, don't you think? OK, so I can't increase my pledge. No need to butt rape my efforts, Father Dave.)

Just stupid shit today. Don't even bother unless you're really bored.

2009-08-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been a whole 2 weeks to the day since I last posted. What kind of world am I making you all live in? I'm sure you've been pulling your hair out everyday waiting for me to write something. For that I would like offer you a $5 off coupon for Rogaine to replace any lost hair...only I don't have any coupons, so I can only offer you an apology...except I'm not gonna do that either because I'm not really sorry, and I believe you shouldn't apologize if you don't mean it. Excuse me for having integrity.

Throughout the day and over the weekends things happen or come up that make me say, "I should blog about that." However, every time I get ready to blog I can't remember any of the things I said I should blog about. Ain't that somethin'?...Kinda pisses me off, really, so don't bring it up again.

Oh, I got a new deodorant (above). It's by Dove, and it's called Wild Rose, in case you can't read. Not at all sure what a wild rose smells like, so I can't comment on the accuracy of the name. Nor do I know what makes a rose wild. I mean, is the particular rose that made my deodorant known around the garden as the party rose, the one that gets drunk and sleeps around with all the other flowers? If so, that's awesome! But regardless of how promiscuous my rose was, this shiz be smelling good, yall! The first time I used it I had just gotten out of the shower and was putting my make on, and I kept sniffing the air and thinking Man, what smells so damn good? Did Adam spray something? Then I'd apply some blush and then some eyeshadow and again Freakin' A! Where is that coming from? I want to capture that scent, put it into a deodorant stick, name is Wild Rose and sale that biatch! Then it hit me. That good smell was coming from me. From my pits, if you can believe that. Then I was kinda bummed because there went my grand idea to make the scent into a deodorant called Wild Rose. Dove beat me to it. Bastards. I have no shame in confessing that I now frequently lift my arms just to get a whiff every now and again. Don't judge me.

Just 24 days until my trip to Playa! Whoo hoo! So excited...I am a little P-Oed, though, and a

tad confused.

Yeah, like her...Although I think she was staring up at a latter as her coworker climbed up to get a box of paper. See, the printer ran out of paper, and you know no one's going to claim they used the last piece so her colleague offered to go get some more from the supply closet. Because safety comes first, Thelma here said she'd spot Kevin and support the latter. Only she didn't know Kevin, who has a sensitive stomach, had a big plate of Mexican food for lunch. On his way up he farted right in Thelma's face, and her hands are up like that because she's asking God Why? My point is that she's more disgusted, whereas I am confused. But I digress....I started going to the gym 3-4 times a week when I was 6 weeks out from the trip, hoping to get rid of some flab before I squeeze my ass into a bathing suit. However, I have not seen the results I expected to see at this point. Now, I will confess that I haven't really changed my eating habits, but they haven't gotten worse either. So here's my logic: Lets say that before working out I was eating 200 cal/day (we all know that's a big fat lie because I wouldn't survive on just 200 calories a day, but I like the number 200, so get over it). At this point in my very fake scenario, I am doing no physical activity. Now I keep eating 200 cal/day but add in working out. Because I am now burning more calories than I was before, wouldn't I still lose weight even though I didn't drastically change my eating habits? Did I make any damn sense to you just now? Ugh! Whatever. Be like that then. No, I am not being a baby. You're dumb. I'm being rude? Nuh uh, you are. I'm rubber, and you're glue. So there...My point (before you threw a hissy fit) is that I'm not as confident to get into a bathing suit as I hoped to be.

Well, I'm kinda bored of writing because none of the things I told myself to blog about came back to me while I was filling this page with stupid crap. And by bored I mean annoyed. And by stupid crap I mean really stupid crap. I think I should take after The Bloggess, my blogging idol, and start writing things down in a notebook or journal as they happen so that when I get ready to blog I just take out my notes and voila. Until next time, friends.

Pluck, Shave, Call...Shoot?

2009-07-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

Two things I REALLY want to do right now:

1. Pluck my right eye out...just for a little bit, not forever. I do need it.

2. Shave off layers of my face skin until it's smooth...yes, I know this is sorta Hannibal Lecter-ish, but I totally wouldn't eat it or anything.

Why I want to do these sadistic things:

1. I have leaky eye today, and it's driving me crazy. I blame it on the rain...and not just because Milli Vanilli said to. I believe the rain stirred up the allergens and activated my allergies.

2. My face, well chin, is broken out. I don't know why I am reliving my teen years. I'm saying that it's due to the new birth control pills my doc put me on, which is why I called them yesterday and said Switch it now or I'll cut you! The lady said that they sooo don't respond to threats, terrorist or midgets with deep voices. I said But how do you know if someone with a deep voice is a midget? I mean, that's kind of discriminatory to think that only really short people would have deep voices. I would totally think the opposite, really. I'd be more inclined to believe little people have high voices and like giants would have deep voices. Then she got all attitudinal with me about how she doesn't make the policy, just enforces it, and that's when I was like Well, how do you respond to someone with a gun in your ear? She then tried to use her twisted logic to convince me that if I shot at the phone receiver it wouldn't travel through the phone and hit here in the ear, but like, how does she know? I bet she never tried it...and because I had her on the phone I thought why not ask. Have you ever tried it? She said she had and that all it did was blow her phone into a bunch of pieces and put hole in her wall. I totally don't want to have to call a drywall guy to come repair a hole, so I opted not to shoot at her through the phone. Although, I still think it would have worked. In the end, I got a new Rx.

I would like to try that SkinID stuff, but it's $51, which isn't horrible, but my Nutrogena face pads are $8. I know I should fork over the extra $43 to get a better product, but I'm trying to save money right now. I might get some next week, though. I went online and took the questionnaire to find out what my skin ID is, and I'm a 25, 32, 53. I think there's hidden meaning in those numbers. They symbolize the age you'll be when something awesome happens. I'm 25 now, so this is one of my years, baby! Score...Or maybe they're just your lucky Pick3 numbers.

I've got rehearsal tonight for the scenes we're shooting this weekend. My character gets to open up a bit and share a little about her past. I'm hoping to squeeze out some tears. I'll let ya know how it goes...

PS: In my search for a picture of a gun held up to a phone I found a gun that doubles as a phone. Not so sure about the safety there. I mean, you could be talking to your husband and he's all I don't want to have dinner at your parents' house. Then you get all frustrated and squeeze the phone, totally forgetting it's also a gun, and BANG...Honey, I'll have to call you back. I just shot someone again.

Because Carrie Says So

2009-07-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

OK Carrie. Here. Happy? I was reprimanded this morning by my bestie, Carrie, because it's been over a week since my last post. I think I may even be grounded. No TV, no phone. I'm just allowed my computer. She locked me in a dark room with no windows and told me I wont get food or water until I write...(cough cough) So. Thirsty...Shhh. I think she's coming. If she finds out I am reaching out for help she'll make me write two posts. Or even three. Oh the horror!...OK, we're safe. False alarm.

On a happier note, I am all booked for my trip to Playa del Carmen in 6 weeks. Julie, Carrie and I are taking a girls trip...that is if I ever get out of this dungeon. We're going for Carrie's 26th birthday and what a blast it's gonna be. Non of us have been to Playa, so we are stoked. My dad put me in touch with his travel agent, and we got an all inclusive trip for 5 days for $585. What a steal! That's flight, transportation to and from the airport, hotel stay, all the food and drinks we can handle, tips and tax. I can't wait! I've got a new swimsuit already and a new summer dress. Still more shopping to do, though. Not too much because I am attempting to save money so that I have some for the trip.

Where I'll be in less than 6 weeks

Oh, I'm going to be on set this weekend. Yay! We haven't shot anything in a while, and I'm anxious to get back in there and get this thing on its way to post production.

I've got a tummy ache today. It started last night after dinner, which leads me to believe that something I ate didn't sit well. I kept waking up in the middle of the night because it was hurting, but I'm pushing through...I will say that my tummy ache ain't getting my an excuse slip from kickboxing tonight. Mommy Dearest (and I mean Carrie) says I have to go. That said, if I feel a strong urge to ralph while jumping up and down in a hotass room, I will most certainly aim my projection right at her. See if she tries to make me go to the gym the next time I'm not feeling well. Sucka! I think that maybe I'll show up at the gym looking very pale with dark circles under my eyes and a sign around my neck that says "I can barely walk, but Carrie says she'll beat me with a spiked chain if I don't come to class. Must obey or get stitches again. Doctors say the brain damage shouldn't be permanent. 2+2=9. The sun is purple. A, B, C, H, P, Z, R." Payback.

Alright, that's all I got for today. My stomach hurts so bad I can hardly move my fingers to type...but I did it for Carrie. Haha! Lookout for some hate mail, Carrie : )

Sore Muscles, Eye Poking, Birthday Celebration, Sunburn, Dentist...It's all here

2009-07-09T09:16:00.001-07:00

OK, so now I'm on day 2 since my trip to the gym, and I am more sore today than I was yesterday. Lifting air hurts my biceps. Sitting down is agony. And all I can say about stairs is that they're the Devil. And I guess I exchanged brain cells for muscle mass because I am going back tonight to do it all again. If you could see the fake excitement on my face, you'd know how I truly feel about doing BodyPump again.

Yeah, it kinda resembles the guy's face. You can tell he doesn't want to be there...Or he just pooped his pants. One or the other. Either way, he's not happy.

I told Carrie I would karate chop her in the forehead for doing this to me, and I stand by my word. When she picks me up for class I will say hello (because she is my friend) and then hi-ya straight at her forehead. After which I will ask her how her day at work was (because she is my friend).

I honestly don't know how in the hell I'm going to lift that freakin' barbell or even attempt a squat. And if the instructor tells me not to bite my lip or scrunch my face (he said that to people on Tues.), I'm going to put my barbell down, walk, I mean limp, over to him and bite his nose. Actually, he sweats a lot, and I don't want to get his sweat in my mouth so I wont bite him. But I will poke him in the eye. Just a real quick poke. Not too hard to cause damage or impair vision. Just enough so that he gets the message and has to wink the rest of class.

This Saturday is my nephew, Jackson's, 5th birthday. I can't believe he's 5 already. He has grown to be such a precious little boy. So polite and well-behaved. Cute as a button (How did that expression come about? I mean, are buttons really that cute? I think there are way cuter things in this world than a button. Like those mini burgers that are all the craze right now. Why not He's as cute as a mini cheeseburger...Whatevs)

I haven't decided where to take him yet. I'm waiting to see what my bro suggests. I want to take him somewhere he doesn't get to go often but really loves. I'm excited to have a day with Jackson, just me and him.

Oh, to add to my sore legs, arms and butt, I have a sunburn on my chest (you know, from my weekend at the inflatable pool), and it hurts. It's starting to peel right along the breast bone, and last night I had to go to sleep with a cold rag in between my boobs. I held it in place with my cleavage. I finally get my normal face back (had a massive breakout last week, you can read about it here), and now my body goes to poop. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

Went to the dentist this morning. Before I get my teeth cleaned I always do a kickass job of brushing and flossing them myself in hopes that the hygienist will think I always take such good care of my teeth. So this morning I brushed super good, flossed and brushed again. How she was still scrapping crap off my teeth is beyond me. Good news is that I have no cavities...and if you've known me pre-adult teeth, you'll know that's quite a feat. I just hate that taste and feel you have after getting your teeth cleaned. That toothpaste, which I'm sure comes from outer space, never rinses off completely so when you bite down you feel that crit-like crap. And because you're there with your mouth wide open for like 45 min. straight, you have a tight jaw afterwards. No wonder people don't like going. But it's done, and I don't have to do it again for another 6 months.

Gobbleygook

2009-07-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

So my Daddy got on to me this weekend about not writing more frequently. And when I say got on to me, I mean he said something like Babygirl, where are your blog posts? Not Listen here, young lady. If I don't see a post a day you're grounded! So in essence, he really didn't get on to me at all. But I digress...I would like to write more often (and probably could if I stopped bitchin' about how I don't have time and just sat down and did it), but I just don't have the time. But from this moment forward I vow to make a slight effort to at least pretend I have the intention of blogging more often (fingers crossed). Good enough? That wasn't really a question, so that's why I can't hear your answer. It has nothing to do with the fact that we are communicating via the Internet. I can normally hear your answers loud and clear but because I clearly stated that 'Good enough?' was not a question, your answers don't come through. Now if I say So, what are you doing? I can hear your answers...That was TMI, Dad, and Mom, you know you shouldn't be doing that. Carrie, I hope you have on knee pads while your doing what you're doing...She's playing volleyball, you nasty-minded people.

Oh, I am proud to inform everyone that my face is now back to normal...for the most part anyway. The crazy breakout I had last week has subsided. Whew! Thank you, Lord. It was not pleasant, but I am glad it's over. And I know you're wondering, but no, I did not show up at the 4th of July party with Calamine lotion on my face pretending I had the chicken pox. I played it cool and went with a paper sack over my head.

I think the extra dose of vitamin D I got this weekend helped my skin clear up. I, who am pale and translucent-like, do not get sun exposure often. However, Adam and I got a pool and were in it all weekend. And when I say pool, I mean we got an inflatable pool from Target, but it's so badass. It's not like the little circle pool with Lightening McQueen on it. It's a rectangle pool that's about 5 feet wide, 8 feet long and 3 feet deep. Adam and I can both totally layout in it with room to spare. Plus the sides are so cushiony that to just lay your head back on 'em and stretch your feet out while you sip on a beer is just heavenly. I felt kinda like the Griswold family as I filled up my inflatable pool--water hose in one hand and a beer in the other. I was just waiting for Cousin Eddie to join me outside with a speedo on, get in the pool and pee. But I don't care how white trash we looked. It was relaxing and soothing and fun and now I have a brownish tint to my arms and chest (well, mostly a reddish color on my chest, but any color is better than being Casper). I look forward to getting in it again this weekend.

What we don't have

What we do have...In fact, that's me and Adam standing up while our two kids (who are 14 and 12 and who no one knew existed) sit in the pool

Big day today. I am accompanying my friend, Carrie, to a workout class at the YMCA. It's called Bodypump. It's going to pump..me up. (Arnold voice/SNL skit). I haven't been to a gym in a looooong time. I wish I was jumping back in with a class like beginners stretching, but nooo. Carrie goes to Bodypump. Thanks, Carrie. If I don't make it out of this class alive, please get my nails refilled before my funeral. I broke one, and I'll be damned if that wouldn't be my unfinished business. I'll be forced to haunt Montrose Nails forever. But seriously, am I excited about this class tonight? No. But am I gonna go anyway? Yes. And why? Because Carrie will be there, and she wants me to do this with her. At least if a weight flies out of my hand and hits the guy behind me in the face, I have someone to laugh it off with. Should be interesting. If my fingers work tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes.

Outbreak! Run Away!

2009-07-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

OMG! That is all I say when I look at myself in the mirror...That and You've got to be kidding me! To what am I referring? Oh that would be the sudden slew of pimples that decided to appear on face over the last few days. Freaking ridiculous! I feel like I'm going through puberty again, like I'm back in high school...and I HATE it! I don't know what brought this one, but whatever it was I hate you! And I say that with a devilish glare in my eyes and gritted teeth. As if it isn't bad enough to have a case of pepperoni face, I am going to a 4th of July party tomorrow where I will see lots of people I haven't seen in a long time. Wonderful. I can see it now. Oh Sarah, hi! It's been so long. How are you? (that's what comes out of their mouth, while in their head they are saying) Holy cow! What they hell happened to her face? She's too old for puberty. Could she have some sort of disease? Oh shit! Think it's contagious? Actual words--Oh my, I just remembered that I left the iron on. Better go all the way back home and turn it off (awkward giggle). Yep, my world is closing in on me. I will soon be cast out of society. No, I am not being over dramatic.

Maybe I should just play it up as a disease. You think if I walked into the party with Calamine lotion on my face everyone would believe I'm getting over chicken pocks? How cute would that look? I could rock it out like this kid and get people to feel sorry for me.

Or maybe I'll tell everyone I have that skin disease that sounds like tiger...Impetigo [im-peh-tie-go], that's it. OK, so it doesn't sound like tiger, but that's how I remembered the name when I was younger. Tiger. Tigo. Close enough. I was so going to put a picture of impetigo on here, but after looking at some online I think it's best that I don't. You would totally lose your lunch, or dinner or breakfast (depending on when you read this). Nast-tee.

Ugh! I am so frustrated at my face right now. You know what, someone should make some kind of very thin, skin-colored, skin-textured adhesive sheet that you can cut to whatever size you need and place it over problem areas on your face and then your makeup goes right over it as if it were your skin. That way if you have a date or are performing somewhere or are going to a 4th of July party, you can feel more confident about your appearance. Say you get a pimple (or 50), just cut out a piece big enough to cover the pimple (or 50) and place it over the pimple (or 50) and then apply your makeup over the now smooth surface. It'd be great for scars too. I'm a genius!...Only I don't know how to make my invention or what it would be made of. But that's all in the details. Details-Smetails, I say.

Well, I'm hungry, so it's off to lunch for me. If you don't do anything else today, you should at least invest some time into feeling sorry for me. Self pity just isn't enough.

I Am Drawn To Places That Have An Animal in Their Name

2009-06-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Great weekend! I got to hang out with two of my besties from high school. On Saturday night I drove into Baytown to go out on the town with Xavier, my best friend since 9th grade. We met in freshman algebra and clicked right away. He's an awesome friend! Becasue he always comes to Houston, I decided to go to his neck of the woods (my old neck...I've since had a neck transplant). However, upon arrival in the Dirty Bay, as it is called, we immeditaely headed to Clear Lake to hit up some hot spots out there. I've never been out in Clear Lake, but I can now check that off my Bucket List. The first stop was a place called Turtle Club, which really isn't a club at all nor is it shapped like a turtle. It's a bar. On a boat. There's nothing like taking a sip of beer and then realizing you're whole body is swaying to make you think you're drink has been drugged. I was like Holy Balls! What is in this Bud Light 'cause I am trippin'. I soon discovered that everyone felt the same sudden dizziness I did and that there was logic to it all. The boat was rocking back and forth. Whew. That was a relief. For a moment I was sure I was going to wake up in a black F150 with 3 tats that said 'I heart Ray-Ray.' After Turtle Club we headed to Bucks Bar, which is a club, and you will be surprised to note that there were no male deer inside. Disappointment, quite frankly. The club played hip hop music with the occasional country and salsa song thrown in the mix. At 2am they closed up shop, and I was more than ready to head home. I don't have the stamina of my college days anymore.

On Sunday I spent the afternoon with Miss Carrie, my bestie since jr. high. She and I went to brunch at Buffalo Grill...Hold on. Does anyone else see a pattern emerging? Turtle Club. Bucks Bar. Buffalo Grill. The animal kingdom calls to me. Anyway, Buffalo Grill was very yum. I will return. Then Carrie introduced me to a store called Francesca's. A store that I will now have to go to over and over again. They had such cute clothes, purses, jewelry, knick knacks, patty whacks, give the dog a bone. I loved it! There was only one mishap, but I have since uncovered the reason for it. I had a dress and a pair of earrings at checkout. The cashier said Do you want these? Meaning the earrings. And I said Yes, I do. Silly me didn't realize that June 21 was Opposite Day. Missed that on the calendar. When I replied with a yes to her question she must have thought Yes means no, so she doesn't want the earrings...(giggle) I love Opposite Day. It's so much fun! If I had been using my telepathic power that day (I turn it off on Sundays) I could have made my thoughts respond to her thoughts with Um no, heffer. Today's Father's Day not Opposite Day. Now give me my damn earrings. Then she would have totally thought she was crazy because someone else's voice was speaking in her head and cried out OMG! I'm Sybil! So it was a good thing that I didn't have my powers on. The sad part is that I didn't get those freaking earrings.

When I got home Adam was making a pot roast, and holy cow it turned out AMAZING! The roast was so tender, the potatos and carrots soft and flavorful and the juice delicious. My favorite meal of his hands down. Had round 2 for lunch today. OK, it's 10pm. My bedtime. Catch ya on the flip side.

Rinse Cycle

2009-06-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

OK. So...no life changing event took place on Friday. Unless you call washing, drying and folding every sheet, blanket, robe and article of clothing (in the hamper) you own in one night life changing. I guess that could be it. I mean, I did learn that I could never work at a cleaners. That's called self discovery. Life changing, my friend. Plain and simple.

I woke up Saturday ready to conquer the quest of getting Lola, Dax & Harley to doggie daycare all by my lonesome. I mapped out a plan the night before. Got my blueprints out and outlined the perimeter of primary focus, the place where leashes meet collars--the kitchen. When my dogs see me go for the leash bowl that go ape shit. Just crazy. Lola knows she supposed to sit, but it's like she's so excited that her ass wont connect with the floor for more than half a second. She sits then jumps, sits then jumps. Meanwhile, the boys are dancing around me on their hind legs. It's a mad house! So this time I devised a plan. I put the boys outside and locked the back door. That left just me and Lola in the kitchen. A standoff. I reached for the leash bowl, and her club-like tail went flappin'. And the tourette's began. Sit. Jump. Sit. Jump. I put the boys' leashes in my purse, got Lola ready and headed out the door. Apparently she didn't care if the front door got locked. She was ready to hit the pavement. (She didn't make it to the pavement, but she did hit the stairs. Face first. Haha! I can laugh because I'm her mother). I said Lola! If I don't lock this door someone might come in and steal your rope bone (had to use something she'd care about. The flat screen means nothing to her). If that happens, what will we play tug-o-war with? So, she let me lock the door. I got her into the back seat, all the while the boys are flipping out in the backyard watching me and Lola runaway to paradise (that's what they think is happening). I then go over to the side fence, lean down and pick up one boy at a time, pull him over the fence and put his leash on. Sweating? Yes. Yes, I am.

We all get into the car, and as expected, both boys get in my lap. I roll Lola's window down, and we're off. Things are going fine...until Lola decides she wants to ride shotgun. She hops up front, and then proceeds to stand up. Her front two feet slip off the seat and onto the floor board, which propels her face into the dash. She's a bit stunned and quickly sits her ass down and stays still. I later see that there is blood on my dash (just a tiny bit), and now I feel bad. I check her mouth, give her some love and we're good. My little trooper.

What a relief it was to get them checked in. Whew! And I am happy to report that no poops were taken on the lobby floor. Score! I will say that as glad as I was to drop them off at daycare, I hated being back home without them. The house feels so empty and lonely (sentimental moment).

On to a different topic. I am happy, no thrilled, to report that Silas is gone. That's right. He finally checked out...witout paying his room service bill, I might add. But I didn't care. He is gone, and that's all that matters. Yay! I have my face back!

Now we are into mid week, and I am anxiously awaiting the weekend. Until next time.

Do I Just Wriggle My Nose, Nod My Head & Blink or What?

2009-06-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

So, I know I said in yesterday's post that my life would change today, but nothing yet...However, this day ain't over. I still have 7 hours to experience something life-altering.

As for an update on Silas (my annoying pimple), he is still hanging around. He even had the nerve to invite some friends over for a party last night, and though they thankfully weren't around this morning, they did leave a couple of their kids behind (tiny pimples). I said, Silas, I'm not a freaking babysitter! You need to tell your friends to come get their kids. And you know what he said? Well, you're babysittin' today, trick. He has no idea how close I came to jabbing him in his face with a safety pin, the bastard. Thin ice. Thin. Ice.

No filming this weekend. Kinda nice to have a weekend off...although not totally relaxing. Terminix is coming tomorrow, so I have to clean the heck out of the house this evening and then take the dogs to daycare in the morning. No one (of the human or animal kingdom) is allowed to be in the house for 4 hours after they spray...unless they have a death wish. Loading up those 3 rascals and driving is quite an adventure. They all love the ride, of course, but both boys (Harley and Dax) want to be in my lap, and they usually find some way to make that happen. Cool for them. Not for me. Lola hangs in the back seat with her head out the window, but she does like to test the water and see if she can get up front before I have time to push her back. By the time I get to doggie daycare, I'm always a bit flushered and usually flaunt a chest covered in claw marks from the boys fighting over who gets to be closest to mommy. Then I have to use my ninja-like skills to grab both boys and close the door before Lola gets out. I can't take all 3 in at once. I get the boys checked in and then go back for Lola, who I'm always worried will take a huge dump on the lobby floor as she has done so many times. Something about walking into that place just loosens her bowels. It's so embarrassing because once it starts coming there's no stopping it. I just have to apologize and clean it up...but when an 80lb dog takes a shit, that smell does not just disappear. It lingers. I cut out of there after that. See ya!

So that's what I have to look forward to this evening and tomorrow. Yay! Sunday, though, will be a day of PJs and laziness. Take that back. I have to go to the grocery store. Dammit!...I'm ready for my awesome, amazing, wondeful life-changing event whenever you are, God.

OK, so I may have over exaggerated

2009-06-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

OK, I just looked at Silas in the mirror, and he's not as big as the pimple in that picture. He's half that...but feels that big.

Just Close Your Eyes & Visualize

2009-06-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my life will change. How do I know that? I just do. I have a gut feeling that it will. And in a good, no GREAT & AMAZING way! I even wrote it on my calendar.

I made a visualization board yesterday. A what? I said, a vis-u-a-li-zation board. Geeze! Listen next time. (Like how I have mock conversations? It makes me feel less crazy to write them out instead of keeping the voices in my head). Anyway, a visualization board is a cork board where you put pictures, phrases, magazine cutouts, fortune cookie fortunes, etc. that portray your desires in life. You post up the things you want in your life and look at the board everyday and visualize that those things up there are already yours or are already happening at this very moment. On my board, I have pictures I got online, a fortune cookie fortune I got with last night's dinner, some favorite quotes, Bible phrases, and so forth. It's pretty cool if I do say so myself...other than the fact that when it comes to cutting things out I still cut like a 2nd grader. How they let me move on to 3rd grade without mastering that skill is a mystery. So yeah, the things on my board are uneven-looking, but I think it adds character and says to the world, "Hey, I'm not perfect." I look at my board 2-3 times a day, and it makes me smile. I recommend everyone make one.

Oh, with a simple wriggle of my nose, I am reminded to tell you about Silas. Silas is the mountain-like pimple right next to my nose. He was just like hey yesterday, but I guess I neglected him so today he's like LOOK AT ME! You're a bastard, Silas, and you hurt like hell too. And he's one of those pimples that's under the skin, so you can't get to it. His location alone makes him hard to tackle (we all know who hard it is to go after a pimple on or right beside the nose). After several unsuccessful minutes of bending your nose are far as you can, you starting thinking Maybe if I just cut my nose off for like 30 seconds I can get to this stubborn ass pimple and reattach my nose without much blood loss. And then just when you have the knife ready you realize Crap! I don't know how to sow. I would never be able to get it to stay on. And even if I did it would most certainly be crooked. So, you opt not to cut your nose off after all. Instead, Silas and I are forced to get along until he decides he's ready to leave. And he's not even a good guest. I can't tell you how many wet towels I've had to pick up off the bathroom floor. It just takes a second to hang it up, Silas. So, I got that going for me. Maybe I should put a picture of Silas on my visualization board with an X over him.

(The below image is not me, but her friend there on the left is a great representation of Silas)

Just Give Me Some H2O & Put Me to Bed

2009-06-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hmm...haven't posted in a while and feel like I should, but what to say? What awesome, hilarious or embarrassing thing happened recently? I'm too drained to think right now. Why am I drained, I heard you ask? Well, because I'm hot. No, not like Megan Fox in a bikini hot. Like clothes sticking to me 'cause I'm sweating hot. It's amazing how being hot can deplete your energy level. And the kicker is that I wasn't doing any sort of physical activity that would cause one to be hot and sweaty. In fact, I was sitting at my desk putting stamps on post cards for a client. It's just that Houston is so dang humid that it becomes possible to be sitting indoors with the AC on and sweat. I'm such a visualizer that I thought maybe I visualized myself exercising and did it so well that I actually started sweating...but then I remembered that I would NEVER visualize exercise. Exercise is the thing of nightmares. So, now that I am finally cooling down, I seem to be exhausted. PJs and a book, please.

Oh, I know! Me, me! Call on me! Yes, Sarah. Go ahead. OK, so Monday afternoon a headache started. Nothing too bad, just annoying more than anything. Well, as the day bled into night, the pain intensified, so much so that I thought about going to the hospital. I'd never had such a headache in my life. Nothing I did helped. I decided to get online and see what could be causing it. Not a good idea in this case. All this stuff popped up about fatigue, dizziness, swollen tongue, trouble speaking, brain aneurysms...GET TO THE HOSPITAL. Suddenly I was like, "I think I'm having trouble swallowing. OMG! My tongue must be swollen! Am I speaking clearly? A-B-C-D-E-F-G..." Then I felt dizzy. Another sign. After a few minutes of freaking myself out, I just walked away from the computer, drank lots of water and got my head pain down to a point that I could fall asleep. Low and behold, I didn't die in my sleep! Yay! The headache didn't completely go away until last night, though. Lesson: Hydration. My shoot on Sunday was outdoors, and it was an all day thing. When you're as pale as I am, you shouldn't just soak up hours and hours of sun without sunscreen and lots of water. So, root cause of my horrible headache: Sun poisoning (or so I speculate).

Well, it's about that time. Time for me to head home, relax and watch So You Think You Can Dance : ) Love that show! Until next time...

If the Lord be willin'

2009-06-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Lots of thoughts spinning around in this head of mine today...Well, not really lots, but it's just been one of those days where I'm more conscious of my thoughts today than I am most days. I wont go into it all here because that's what my journal is for, but I will share a little.

Here in the past few months I've really delved into the philosophy that your thoughts create your reality, which I summarized in a pervious post. The basic premise is to think, visualize and imagine that what you want in life is not just a want but a reality. Saying, "I hope I get the job," isn't enough. It has to be, "I will get the job." You have to see yourself going in for the interview, kicking butt and impressing the hell out of the boss. The moment I decided to audition for Shut Your Blog Off, that's exactly what I did. Every day I said that I would get the female lead. I imagined myself in that audition room making a lasting impression. I did this over and over until the audition day had passed, and then, well, if you're an avid reader, my family or a co-worker then you know, I got the part I wanted. That really convinced me to pay attention to my thoughts and had a huge impact on the way I see things. Things that I used to believe impossible and out of my reach are now just a thought away. It's pretty incredible.

Some people might say, "So you're saying that God has nothing to do with what happens in our life?" No, I am absolutely not saying that. For me, this belief in the power of thought and my belief in God go hand-in-hand. Everything we accomplish and strive for starts with a thought. Before God created the world he thought it up first. He thought about what He wanted to be real, to exist and made it happen. So when I place my "order" so to speak, I do so and then hand the keys over to God. I don't ever want to be in the driver's seat of my life. That's where God belongs. His will is the only will I want to follow. Sure, I have my own wants and dreams and aspirations, but ultimately I want to walk the path designed for me by God.

I am not hear to talk about religion and what's right and wrong to believe in. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I can only speak for myself. I know there are people who believe God to be an angry, jealous God, but I personally don't see Him that way. My God is a loving God who wants me to be happy and loved. He wants me to excel in life and enjoy the pleasures of the world, not run from them. He loves everyone equally, and I do mean EVERYONE. And because he wants me to be happy and to live my dream, then that becomes His will. He knows what my dreams are, what my heart wants, and if those exact dreams and desires are not where He wants my life to go then He'll take me where I am supposed to be and show me why I am supposed to be there. I may not be shown the reason right away and may be angry that I didn't get what I wanted, but in time I will see how important it was that I be there on that path rather than the one I hoped to be on...because after all, there are no coincidences.

Every decision you've made in life has led you to where you are now. If you changed just one little thing it would have led you somewhere totally different. Different in a good way? Different in a bad way? That we can never know, and it's not worth pondering because if you choose (and you do have to choose because God gave us free will) to follow the path God made for you then all you need to know is that where you are is where you're supposed to be because it's going to take you to where you're going next. That's what I believe anyway, and what a blessing it is to have such a belief because I never have to worry about drowning in any situation. I've got the biggest and most reliable floatation device.

Procrastination. It's a valuable quality.

2009-05-29T15:01:00.000-07:00

What a frickin' day! Yes mom, I said frickin'. The word I wasn't allowed to say as a kid because we all knew what I was really wanting to say--take out 'ri' insert 'u'.

I am just so glad to be a mere 29 min. away from going home, getting into my PJs and watching TV. I have been so busy with work and the movie, that a night of doing nothing is the best treat EVER. Just me, Adam, my 3 pups and a good book. (insert dreamy sigh here)

Now, back to today and why it's been a frickin' one. All was well this morning and the first of the afternoon. Left for lunch at 2pm and went to Randall's to renew the registration on Adam's truck. Why was I doing it? Because legally the truck's mine. It's in my name. Adam makes the payments, pays the insurance, registration renewals, inspections, etc., but I have better credit, which equaled lower payments. It's actually a win for me because my credit score gets the boost.

Anyway, his registration is up on May 31, so I go today, May 29, to renew it. Sure, I've had the paper at home for a month, but it would be totally out of character for me to take care of things early rather than procrastinate. Everyone thinks Sarah means princess, but that's only half true. The rest of the meaning was lost centuries ago. However, I have uncovered the secret. Sarah by definition means princess procrastinator. I would be untrue to myself had I renewed the registration a month ago.

I walk up to the customer service desk at Randall's, confident that I have everything and will be in and out. It is then brought to my attention that I cannot renew the registration because Adam's truck needs new license plates. At this point there is only small frustration. After all, I had to get lettuce, croutons and salad dressing, so the trip was not wasted.

I call Adam when I get home for lunch and tell him the situation. He calls the tax assessor's office downtown and finds out that because May 31 falls on a Sunday the registration and new license plates must be purchased by 4:45pm today. Now I have a rage of frustration. I'm supposed to be back at work in 30 min., so I don't have time to do this. Adam says he'll go. Frustration decreases...a little. We hang up, and I eat my salad. Then he calls me back and says he can't do. I, as the legal owner, have to do it. Frustration surges again.

I have no choice but to go, so I call a colleague and explain the situation. MMI is awesome, and they understand that, sorry to be cliche, shit happens. Adam then tells me that a woman at the tax assessor's office said I needed to bring the old plates with me...Yes, I later discovered that she is a moron who is in no way qualified to advise people on procedure. But this is a lesson to be learned later. So now I'm supper pissed because I have to drive to Adam's office to pick up his old plates and then drive over to the court house to get the new ones. I get in the line, which NEVER moves quickly, renew the registration and get the new plates (discovering what a waste it was to have the old ones and thinking how stupid I looked holding them in line). Now I have to drive back to Adam's work because he now has no plates on his truck, when he could have kept the old ones on until we both arrived home from work, at which time he could exchange them for the new ones. But because lady dumbass told him I had to have the old plates with me, I had to make yet another unnecessary stop.

So after an hour from when I left my house, I was finally headed back to work. However, it is done and done. I got my ass in gear and accomplished the mission. Nothing like procrastination to make you hustle. That's why I believe in it so much.

Good evening, Clarice

2009-05-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

Just call me Hannibalette Lecter. I warned in my previous post that if someone invoked my road rage I would bite their face...and I ain't no liar. Someone cut me off the other day so I went after him, ran him off the road and bit his forehead. It's kind of hard to really bite a forehead, but I did what I could. So, if you see a man around town with teeth marks above his brow, you will know that he was my victim. And let him be a lesson to you all.

Ok, so I didn't really bite anyone...but I wanted to. I did grit my teeth and snarl a little, though.

Did some filming this weekend. We shot the newsroom meeting scenes. It was a long day, but I had a good time. My fellow actors did great! I started a Twitter page for the film: @ShutYourBlogOff and synced it with my cell phone so that I can tweet on set. If you have a Twitter account, come follow us, and if you don't, you better go get one : )

This evening I am attending a free film class on how to score your movie...No, that doesn't mean that I am trying to get the movie layed. Scoring your movie is the process of adding music and sound in post production. When you hear a song playing during a scene, that song wasn't really playing at the moment of filming. It was added in post production to enhance or create a feeling or tone. Myself, the director and the cameraman are going. Should be interesting.

Well, that's all I got for you today. I am kind of beat. Perhaps I will catch someone digging in their nose or picking their butt this evening and can tell you all about it tomorrow.

Don't make me shine my glock

2009-05-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

As I was driving home yesterday and driving to get me nails did at lunchtime today, I had to ask myself, in between my cursing and choice hand gestures no less, if I could have the worst case of road rage out of everyone I know...and I think the answer is yes.

Ugh! I just can't stand stupid drivers. Before I know it I'm honking my horn or beating the steering wheel and saying things like, "WTF! Are you a moron? Green means go, you idiot!" Or I revert to a solo conversation of sarcasm where I make remarks like, "Ok. See that speed limit sign we just passed? It had a number on it. That's how fast we get to go. Kinda crazy, huh? Just a little lesson to put in your pocket (insert fake laugh)." Oh sure, I'm certain I look like a big crazy talking to myself, but my sarcastic banters help me refrain from pulling out my 9 and bustin' a cap.

So, in case you ever find yourself on the road with me, do us all a favor and...

1. Drive the freakin' speed limit. We are on a damn highway. No need to go 40...unless in traffic. I may be a biatch, but I do have logic and understand that 65 in traffic means nothing but collision.

2. They didn't put blinkers on cars just for shits and giggles. I know that stupid tick, tick noise can get annoying, but use that damn blinker. If I am waiting to cross over your lane, and you plan on turning onto the street I'm on, hence allowing me to cross before the 68 cars coming behind you reach my intersection, then that blinker better be on. If not, I'll u-turn, make you pull over, yank that blinker handle off your steering wheel and shove it right up your.....and breathe. 12345678910. Also, if I'm behind you, and you decide that up ahead at that video store you want to turn in and rent Dumb & Dumber, that blinker? Better be a flashin'.

3. When in slow traffic and you see me with my blinker on indicating my desire to get in your lane, don't be a douche bag and hug the car's ass in front of you so that I can't get in. I mean really? Do you think God forbid one more car get ahead of you and you'll never make it home?

4. Do not EVER pull out in front of me and proceed to go slow! I loath that. Here I am coming 40+, and you see it in your best interest to pull out in front of me and go 30? I will beat some ass for that one.

5. OK. Most exits lanes are marked clearly with dotted lines and the words "Exit Only" painted on the damn lane itself. And a lot of exit lanes are long, giving drivers plenty of time to get the hell out if they don't want to exit. So why is it that you stay in the exit only lane until the last minute and decide, "Oops. I didn't know I had to exit here. Silly me (haha)," and then you brake hard (making me brake hard) so as to find a place to get over. All I say to you is...Jackass!

6. Merging lanes. Don't get me started...too late, already am. If your lane is merging with my lane, guess what that means? I have the right of way, not you, dip. Also, when on ramps merge with a freeway lane, don't be that prick who slams on their accelerator to get in front of the car entering the freeway as if to say, "Whoa man! I'm the freeway warden in these parts, and you ain't allowed on. So what I'm gonna do is make you have to swerve into the shoulder to avoid hitting me because I am a big, ugly ass." Yeah, don't be the big, ugly ass.

7. Driver courtesy has it's rules too. If you're at a red light that has a good line going, a line that could potentially block an intersection or driveway. Do not pull up so that the person on said intersection can't pass through. It's just freakin' rude and selfish. Leave a gap so people can cross over your lane. However, if you are at a red light, a long annoying red light that only stays green for 2 seconds, and a car suddenly comes up from the side and wants to get into your lane when the light turns? That is when it's not only OK, but vital that you simply act as though you don't see them and carry on through the green light. If you stay stopped and allow them to get in front of you, they slow shit up, making those of us who have been waiting in that stupid ass line forever, miss the light. Just something to remember. Now, on good days when I'm not feeling so bitchy, I have broken the code and let a driver into my lane when a light has turned green. But I only do it when I know my ass is gonna make it through the light : )

I could go on and on, but I like the number 7, so I'll stop there. Now it's off to my car to drive home. Better look out for me or I'll come up to your window, nicely ask you to roll it down and then bite your face. No one likes to have teeth marks in their face, so be warned.

Something Short & Sweet

2009-05-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

Man, what a day! I was wondering why I felt so hungry and then looked up and saw it was 3pm. Where had the day gone? I have been so busy today that I lost track of the time...but I managed to shoot on over to Chick-fil-A and grab a sandwich, which I proceeded to hork down like a vulture. It was hella good too. However, I couldn't just let myself eat. I had to eat and type, which did nothing but grease up my keyboard. Yuk! Oh, woe is me...

I had my first cast rehearsal last night, and it was a lot of fun. I got to meet my fellow actors and hear what the scene really sounds like when it's not just me reading everyone's part in my head. A couple of actors there last night are experienced, and it was neat (Neat. Hello, jr. high) to watch them in action and learn from them. The ideas they had about developing their character and what mannerisms they could take on were awesome. It inspired me to think about my character more.

I also got some pretty cool news last night from the producer/director. He told them that I have contributed so much to the film that I shall be listed in the movie credits as the Executive or Assistant Producer, whichever we decide upon. How freakin' nifty is that?! I'm really diggin' this film making thing.

Sorry this post is short and blah, but it's time for me to head home. I'll try and find time manana (Dora the Explorer would be proud of that) to post something better. Peace!

IT'S ALIVE!!

2009-05-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Holy Moses, it has been a while since I blogged! I just got so busy at work that I didn't have time to make a post. Lame excuse, I know, but it's the truth. I've been spending so much time trying to figure out Twitter on behalf of my clients that I forgot all about my lowly blog (picture me frowning). And to add salt (Morton's lite salt) to an open wound, I don't have crap to say right now. One would think that having almost 2 weeks to experience things and think about things that I would have tons of stuff to say by now...but I don't. I'm tempted to go out in public and stage a dramatically embarrassing trip and fall scene just for the sake of this blog. Too bad I have too much self pride to carry out that idea...but if I could make someone else fall down. Now that's an awesome idea! I do love to watch others trip and fall. Sadistic? Some would say.

Today is Friday, to state the obvious, but it's even more joyous because it's payday too. Hip Hip Hooray! That really doesn't elude to too much excitement, though, because the electric, water, cable and gas bills are stuck to the frig door waiting to suck my hard-earned money right out of my bank account. It is these moments that I miss being a young tot, living at home with my parents, never falling victim to the woes of bills, rent, groceries and vet appointments--Lola's is tomorrow, by the way. Oh, to be a kid again. Take away that awkward stage, acne and braces, and I'm in. Time machine, do your stuff.

Got a screenwriters workshop tomorrow morning. Since I have been brought on as an assistant screenwriter, the film's producer wants me to attend this workshop with him. He paid for me to go, which was super nice. It's at Rice University at 10am. I've never been to a screenwriters workshop, probably because I never thought I'd be writing a screenplay, but I'm excited about it.

The game plan was to shoot our newsroom scenes on Sunday, but one of the other actors, the news director, was in a car accident. Nothing serious, but it did prevent him from filming this weekend. So now we are shooting the scenes next weekend. It will be a long day, maybe a long two days depending on how much we get done on Saturday. It's a 6 person scene, so we have to get the lines and reactions of all 6 people individually as well as group shots. But it's gonna be a blast!

Rehearsal is Monday night, and I am sooo anxious to meet the other actors. I discovered earlier this week that I already know one of them. The day before my audition, I was an extra in a short film, and I was seated next to a guy named Bobby. As Bobby and I talked we learned that both of us were going to the following day's audition and even saw each other there. Low and behold, when Wonedwossn (producer/director) told me the names of the other actors, it was Bobby whom he casts as Tim, the cocky, pretentious, materialistic reporter who doesn't care for the new guy (male lead). Now Bobby isn't really like that, but he's a handsome, sharp dressing, confident man, so he can pull the role off well.

It's just all a bundle of excitement, and I can't wait to see the finished product! It's gonna be a great film, I just know it.

Well, got work to do. I know, it's a crazy concept, this actually working while at work thing. Who came up with that one? I'll try to be better at making posts. Promise (fingers secretly crossed under desk)

Quiet on the set!

2009-05-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my first day on set. (That's so cool to say) I wasn't in the scene but wanted to be there so that I could understand the process of filming, meet some of the other actors, get a feel for the tone of the movie, etc. We shot the 'CEO scene,' which I helped write. The producer, who is the main script writer, sends me the scenes and lets me edit, change and add dialogue as needed. I keep the tone and attitude of the scenes and just make the dialogue more conversational. It's pretty cool to get to help write the movie too.

We met at IHOP at 8am so the actors could start rehearsing, then at 11:30am we headed over to the set, which was a law office off Memorial Dr. The man playing the CEO really looked the part. We was very tall and had that loud, deep voice that was great when he got angry in the scene. Once he put his suit on it was like, BAM, he really captured the feel of a CEO. The guy playing the CEO's right hand man (character name: Scott) was really good. He got his lines down fast and did great at appearing inferior and frightened as his boss yelled at him. There was a third guy who was in the background playing the "attack dog" type. He works for Scott. He didn't have any lines in yesterday's scene, but as he stood in the background you could see him making tight fists and crinkling his knuckles. He never took his eyes off Scott, like he was just waiting for the attack command. (This attack would be on the nosey reporter, not the CEO)

We starting wrapping things up at 3pm and left by 4pm. I was so exhausted when I got home. I had a great time, though, and was glad I went. It allowed me to meet and get comfortable with the camera crew, so that when it's time for me to do my scenes I will feel at ease. They have so much cool equipment that it felt like a big-time movie set. I'm so excited about getting more scenes shot! Next weekend will be another adventure, and I'll let you know how it goes.

On another note. I went to Quick Weight Loss to weigh in and get measured, and when the consultant measured my waist she said, "Wait. Let me do that again. I must have messed up because that's a lot of inches off in a week." But, no mistake. I lost 3 inches off my waist!! Woo Freakin' Hoo!! That just made my day : ) I wasn't seeing too much of a decrease on the scale so I thought progress has slowed, but no sir. I've always been like that, though, on any diet. I don't see much difference on the scale, but my clothes get really baggy, which is all that matters to me. Confidence restored. Motivation replenished.

Will You Save the Environment? Depends

2009-05-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I just made a post, but I checked my email and found a HARO (Help A Reporter Out) query that I had to share. This is the reporter's topic: Ecological Impact of Adult Diapers. Ah yes, I do recall that being a major issue effecting our environment. Those damn Depends! I say we just let people wet themselves, their bed, the floor, wherever. Hey, sacrifices must be made to save the the world's living organisms and the environment in which they live, and we all know that adult diapers are the root cause of environmental downfalls. Lets start a petition that I will send to the CEO of Depends, asking that he discontinue his product and save the world. Hurry! We may not have much time.

As Long As It Works, Use It...On Second Thought

2009-05-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I did a lot of research on the growing population of senior citizens who have a blog and/or read blogs (No mom and dad, I do not consider you senior citizens....yet). In doing so, I found some pretty funny and cleverly witty senior blogs. One of my favs is My Senior Citizen Humor. This guy cracks me up...and so I wanted to share a bit of his humor with you. I found this posted on his site, and I actually believe that it this will happen come 2029.

I see a strong sense of truth in this image because you know Madonna is gonna keep putting on shows until she croaks. This artist must also me a soothsayer.

On another note, I shamefully admit that I have peaked on my diet, meaning I've haven't gained any weight back, but I also haven't lost more than a couple of pounds this week. But if we're being totally honest here, and I feel we have that kind of relationship, I haven't been following the program to the T. I'm not eating bad stuff or gorging myself, nothing like that, but I've been so preoccupied that I don't get all my foods in everyday. I don't eat all my veggies and have run out of my food supplements, and I will confess that the 80 oz of water I'm supposed to drink a day...not happening. I think I'm at Post It Note yellow on my pee chart, which isn't so far off that I can't redeem myself. However, I proudly announce that I am back on the wagon. I have a cup of water by my side that is consistently full, I took my vitamins this morning and I brought a cucumber for my mid morning snack. The hard part for me is eating protein. I never realized how much I really don't care for meat. In the past, I always had cereal for lunch or a PB&J (yum...miss that one), but now I have to eat a chicken breast for lunch (who has time to cook that on their lunch break?) or a fish fillet.

Now, the QWLC claims that you can still go out to eat and stay true to your diet. I call that bluff, my friend. I have been out to eat a few times recently, and unless I want to order a bowl of leaves with some lemon juice on it, then nothing on the menu fits the rules. Am I supposed to do say, "Excuse me waiter, can you ask the chef to use ONLY Mrs. Dash seasoning on my chicken breast, or he can bake me a fish as long as he uses just one tablespoon of butter? Thanks." Umm, no. It's hard to order out and stay true to the rules. Like today for instance, I wont be going home for lunch so I have to pick something up, but from where? This is were I get frustrated.

Well, I better go peel my cucumber and pull out my Morton's salt and have at my mid morning snack. Jealous, aren't you?

Red is my color afterall...

2009-04-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but I can't contain my excitement. On Sunday, I had my first film audition ever....Let me backtrack a bit. I recently decided to get a hobby because, aside from work, I just stayed at home and got lazy. Acting has always been something I wanted to try, so I joined the Houston Film Industry to see if I could be a part of some local, short films on the weekends. Through the organization, I receive invites to casting calls and heard about one on Sunday for a feature-length film called Shut Your Blog Off that only films on Saturdays and Sundays, which is perfect. I mustered up the courage to go and felt it went well. I had my lines memorized pretty quickly, and the person I read with was very laid back and made me feel at ease. That was such a relief because I was sooo nervous going into it.

This morning I got an email from the producer/director asking if we could meet this evening to talk about the film. We met at Cafe Express in Uptown Park and went over the film's plot and direction. Mid way through he tells me that he wants to offer the female lead to me. I am still stunned. I just can't believe I got the part!! I wanted it really bad but didn't expect to get a lead part on my first audition. I am super excited to get started, which is good because the plan is to begin filming this Saturday. After the film is totally complete, post-production and such, there will be a screening where the public can come view the film in an actual movie theater. I am going to be seen on the big screen!!!! I'm freaking out here! This is so awesome and amazing and surreal.

If you want to check out the film go to http://www.shutyourblogoff.com/. You can get a quick summary there. My part will be a reporter named Rene who is new to the news station's staff, as is the movie's male lead reporter. Tough she is welcomed, he is treated as an outcast, and when he discovers a good news story--a healthcare scandal--he is met with ridicule from everyone else on the team...except Rene. Rene is the only one who believes him and helps him when he decides to investigate the story on his own. It's got a lot of great aspects in it, like comedy, suspense, drama and intrigue. I'm very excited to be working on it and just so thankful to have this opportunity.

I will keep everyone up to date as filimg gets rolling, and when it's time for the Houston premiere, you're all invited!

How can there be self-help “groups”?

2009-04-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

For some weird reason I got to thinking about the stupid things that come out of people's mouth, which led to the pondering of the stupid questions people ask, and that gave way to a line of thought about rhetorical questions...There are some funny and thoughtful ones out there. That was my one line of thought. So to the Internet I went, where I pulled together a short list of the rhetorical questions that made me laugh.

(From www.InnocentEnglish.com)

1. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

2. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

3. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

4. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

5. If deaf people go to court is it still called a hearing>?

6. If you choke a smurf, what color will it turn?

(From www.Englishforums.com)

7. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say  "Hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

8. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a  horrible crisp that no one would eat?

9. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Haha!)

What's in a name?

2009-04-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Ashpash...

1. Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Mom has no middle name, so we'll use her nickname. NetteNette Ray. You might be a redneck if...

2. Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s dad & father’s dad)
Tilden Raymond

3. Star Wars Name (the first 2 letters of your last name & first 4 letters of your first name)
Stsara. What the...?

4. Detective Name (favorite color & favorite animal)
Purple Monkey. That sounds like a freaky bedroom move. "Yeah man, I gave here the purple monkey and she went bananas."

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name & city where you live)
Michelle Houston. Whitney's sister.

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color & favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “The” to the beginning)
The Green Apple Martini

7. Fly Name (first 2 letters of first name & last 2 letters of your last name)
Sabs. Kinda like Babs but not.

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor & favorite cookie)
Peppermint Oatmeal, dawg. Don't hate.

9. Rock Star Name (current pet’s name & current street name)
I have 3 current pets, so I can be Lola Shearn, Dax Shearn or Harley Shearn. That's my whole band. Two brothers and their sister.

10. Porn Name (first pet’s name & street you grew up on)
Lola Tamarach...not so porno-ish

You're so skinny, I can save you from drowning by tossing you a Cheerio!

2009-04-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Whoo hoo! Good...no great news, everyone! Yesterday I was able to stick two arms down my pants without unbuttoning them!! (How many times can a girl say that without getting a weird look?) That's how loose my clothes are getting. Pretty cool feeling, I might add.

(FYI, that's not me...yet) My body has completely adjusted to taking in less, and in fact, it's now hard for me to eat everything I am supposed to eat each day. I get full fast and don't want to eat anymore. Fullness never stopped me before, which is why I am on a weight loss plan, but now I look at food different.

Before it was like, "Yum! Eating this chocolate cake is like taking little bites of Heaven, and even though my pants are busting at the seams, I'm going to finish it," but now that it's a piece of chicken, it's like, "Hmm, I'm full and this chicken ain't anything special, so I'm calling it quits." I don't live to eat but eat to live. Eating is now just something I do to get in my nutrients and stay healthy, not a hobby that I partake in when I'm bored or upset. Everyone mark this day on your calendar. I am no longer a food addict. I'm still going to my FLA meetings (Food Lovers Anonymous) and will continue with my 12 steps (that's 12 stair steps, by the way), but it's safe to say that I am cured.

It will be new clothes shopping time before long...too bad I'm broke from joining the QWLC. I'm not complaining, though. I would rather be broke with loose pants than bankin' with tight pants.

That's not me either...just want to clear that up. So, progress is being made, and it's pretty awesome to know that I'm on the right track. Maybe I'll get that lady to join QWLC. I mean, look at her face. It just screams, "HELP ME!" Or maybe it says, "Oh no! This tight waist band isn't doing any favors for the cupcakes, burritos and queso I just ate. Uh oh! Turtle head. The bathroom's near by, right?"

Oh, so the belt is supposed to come together in the front!

2009-04-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a full 4 days since my last post...well, I don't count weekends, so 2 days since my last post. You doing OK? Oh, good. Whew! Sweat off the brow. I would feel immensely guilty had I made you stay glued to your computer awaiting my post, the stench of hopeless abandonment seeping from your pores, dark circles under your eyes marking the days you've gone without sleep, a homemade toilet resting by your feet so that you didn't risk missing my blog while you ran to the bathroom. Had that happened, I would have felt bad and solely responsible...actually, that's a lie. I probably would have scheduled a talk with you so that we could discuss a new life path for you to follow. But since everyone's OK, lets move on...

I am on day 7 of my new diet, and things are going well. I see the scale drop more and more with each daily weigh in, and that's always exciting. My pants are fitting lose, and I feel more energized. Whoo hoo! I am getting plenty of food on my current plan, which is a relief because I always worry that strict diets will leave me feeling hungry. Not the case with this one--it's Quick Weight Loss Center, by the way. I eat several times throughout the day, and I get everything from starches, fruits, veggies, protein, dairy and even fat. Yes, that's right. I not only get some fat on this diet, I am required to have it. Granted it's only 1 tbsp of butter or mayo, but hey, when I get to smear that butter on my toast everyday I am reminded that God loves me and wants to protect me from the torture that is a life without butter.

I am SUPPOSED to go to the clinic to weigh in everyday for 2 weeks and then 3x a week after that, but I just go when I have the time. I mean, it's close to my work so M-F is convenient, but I'm not driving over there on Saturday for a 5 min. visit. Sorry. Plus, I have a feeling they roll their eyes at me when I leave because I have voiced my opinion about the prices of their products. I have refused to buy them because they are all optional. They do not hinder the program in any way, so why would I spend all that extra money for something I don't have to have? Example. They want you to take EFAs like Omega 3, 6 & 9. I'm agree, that's good for you to take. Their bottle cost $40, while the bottle I got from Target cost me $10. One packet of their salad dressing is like $11, while I got a whole bottle of lite dressing at Randalls for $3. See my point? So I would bet that I am that rare client that puts up a resistance and doesn't just go along with everything they suggest, and who wants to be the consultant to handle THAT lady? I can't believe I have become THAT lady. When I worked for an oral surgeon I used to hate dealing with stubborn patients who didn't listen to me, and now I've become one. Oh well, what can you do?

So other than the jacked up cost of their products, I am liking the overall program and would recommend it if you're wanting to shed some pounds but know you can't count on yourself to keep the will power strong. There's something about having other people hold you accountable that motivates you, ya know? Knowing that I have to go in there and have someone else weigh me and check my food journal makes me want to follow the rules and show them I can do this. Sure I have weak moments filled with temptation, but it's how I react in those moments that matters. The other day I wanted an oatmeal raisin cookie soooo bad, but did I have one? No! And last night I watched Adam eat a Hershey's bar without any desire to have a piece myself. No that's progress, people. This could very well be the program that sticks.

Well, it's time for my Strawberry Kiwi smoothie (QWLC supplement). Got to get that mid morning snack in before lunch. Cheers!

Order's Up!

2009-04-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I broke my goal to blog every weekday for a month...I'm so ashamed of myself. But in my defense, I had a good reason not to blog yesterday. I was at the hospital from about 8:30 am to 4:00 pm . In the labor and delivery ward, no less. Yes, I was 9 months pregnant and had no idea. I went into the hospital with stomach pains, and what do you know? Baby! NOT!! I really was in labor and delivery but with my Cousin, Carrie. I was dubbed videographer for the day, and quite frankly, I suck at it. Mark that profession off the list. Carrie was induced yesterday morning, and I was invited to be a witness to the miracle of life. I am honored that she would include me such a milestone. Upon arrival we (myself, Carrie, husband Jason and friend Dee) began putting in our orders to the universe. What does that mean, you ask? I will share the knowledge with you...

It became popular in my family as a result of my mother. She read this book called The Secret that explains how powerful a thought can be, that we make our reality based on what we think. So in essence, if there is something you want in life you simply think about it as if you know it's going to happen. You picture yourself getting that promotion, you see yourself living in that new house you want, you visualize yourself winning that award. And by doing that, you make your thoughts a reality. No, this isn't a cult or a religion. It's simply a way to start thinking more positively. If you think positive, positive things will happen. Point blank. Now somewhere in the book it talks about placing your oder with the universe, which is basically saying what you want outloud as if it is a statement of truth. And it has to be in positive terms. So not, "I hope this plane doesn't crash," but, "We are going to land safely in Colorado." It's positive (land safely), and it's stated as a fact.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, we are placing our orders for the time of delivery. We say, "baby will be here at noon." Noon came and went. "Baby will be here at 1:00." That was a no go. That's when I said that we should call my mom because she's the one with the power (mainly because she has actually read the book, while we just place orders like we know what we're doing). I ask her to place an order for the delivery time. At this point it's a little after 1:00, and Carrie is just 4cm. My mom places her order as 2:22pm. The doctor doesn't think it will happen. Well, in about 15 min. Carries goes from 4cm to 10cm and feels the pressure to push. Nurses come, doctor comes, and baby Max is born at 2:22pm on the dot. Can you believe that?! Everyone in the room was freaked out by that. The nurse proclaimed that she is buying that book for sure. Even my mom herself couldn't believe it.

So from now on, when I want something in life, not like a new outfit but a life goal, then I'm calling in the artillery--my mom--and having her place my order. Apparently she has the right touch. She and the universe are in cahoots, best buds it seems. That's a cool person to know.

And on the baby note, Max is perfect, just precious. Carrie is amazing! She made the process look so easy. I mean, 1 and 1/2 pushes, and there he is. I was so expecting to be traumatized and grossed out, but I wasn't at all. I was like, "I can do that."...Until the nurse told me that it's not always like that. Damn! No babies on the agenda anytime soon, though, so no worries for now.

Here he is, ladies and gents! Mr. Maxwell (Max) Chris Kolter. Isn't he a doll?

Detox!

2009-04-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

Today is day one of my three day detox. I am getting my body prepared to start consuming different foods, foods that are good for me, not just the ones that taste like heaven and are filled with calories. This also means that today is a funeral of sorts, for I must lay to rest all those brownies, cheeseburgers, pizzas, donuts and cake. I bid you a bitter sweet farewell, my fat-filled companions. You will be missed...especially come tomorrow when I'm going through withdraw, when I'm curled up in the corner of my room foaming at the mouth and pleading with someone to give me just one bite of chocolate cake, just one bite.

My instructions are to eat 2 eggs for breakfast, which is cool because who doesn't love a good egg? You know I do, just read my "Don't Egg Me On" post. Then I am to snack on half an orange. Cool. I like oranges. And I am to have as much meat (protein) and raw green veggies as I can take. I can't use any salt on these foods nor any condiments, and those who know me will testify that I could swim in some ketchup. So I went to the store and bought broccoli, celery, cucumbers, salad and enough chicken to last me 3 days. The big hunk of meat consumption is going to be what I potentially cringe from because although I enjoy a nice steak or piece of grilled chicken, I am a fruit and veggie person. So bring on the celery and cucumbers...not too stoked about all the chicken. However, it's just 3 days, and I can tolerate anything for 3 days...except maybe stupid people. I can't tolerate them for 5 minutes.

Because I forgot to buy oranges last night, I went to Randalls on my lunch break and grabbed a few...along with a rotisserie chicken because I don't have any chicken made yet. I am allowed to eat rotisserie chicken as long as I remove the skin, which just so happens to be my favorite part. But, I did as I was supposed to and removed all the juicy, flavor-enriched skin. My dogs were happy about it, though. I then chopped up a cucumber and that was my side dish. Nothing like skinless chicken and a cucumber to satisfy your appetite. She knows how I feel.

I usually follow my lunch with something sweet, like a chai tea or a cookie...but not today...or tomorrow...or the next day. I'm gonna stick this out, though, because if nothing can motivate someone to shed a few pounds, paying a lot of money to do will. Since I had to pay for this program I am going by the book. Nothing would piss me off more than to dish out the cash and get nothing in return.

So, here I am...with a headache from carb withdraw, reminding myself that this will be over after Friday. Phase 2 starts on Saturday, and though I'm sure it wont be all chips, bread and pasta, it will be better than this.

Keep It Clear

2009-04-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm trying to drink lots more water throughout the day to keep me hydrated, curve hunger, be healthy, etc. I've been doing pretty well so far...well, I'm only on day 2 so I better be doing good. If I'd screwed up already we'd know that I have some major follow through issues, which hey, I probably do. (Sarah did not continue her stupid "workout" last night!) Who the hell said that? I don't appreciate people jumping on my computer and telling all 5 of my readers about my failures. Back off! OK? So anyway, I've been keeping my glass full...and my bladder. And how to know if I'm on the right path is by looking at the color of my pee. The clearer the better. If you're peeing a yellow highlighter, my friend, than you are in need of some H2O. If your pee looks like a fresh spring, then thumbs up!

Now, I've never really assessed all the various pee colors...must have missed that chart in elementary school...so I'm going to make my own. I hope to inspire you to drink the right amount of water a day, and so I want to provide you with the right tools to do so. Here's your pee chart: (Ha! Like a pie chart, only I don't think of Key Lime or Boston Cream when I say it)

Highlighter Yellow: Damn, G! You better get your ass to the nearest water well and drink it dry

Post-It Note Yellow: Tisk, tisk! You are overdue for some serious hydration.

Smokers Teeth Yellow: Not bad, but let's take it to the next level.

Baby Blanket Pastel Yellow: Doing good, my friend. Just a glass or so more.

Transparent: Celebrate good times come on! And don't try and hold it anymore, not worth it.

Crystal Clear: You are a fresh Colorado spring. Revel in it!

It's a 6 step program, but yes, you can skip levels. It is possible to go from Highlighter to Smokers Teeth in one day, but don't feel like you're a loser if you stick with the chart level by level. We all move at different paces in life, and we can't all have the best pee color.

Now, if you want some other cool tips on how to take in more water, check out this site:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/9-tips-how-to-drink-more-water-441417/

You'll be surprised at how much better you feel if you stay hydrated...and you'll notice things about your bathroom that you never did before. After you go into the same place 15 times in an hour, you tend have more chances to analyze it. Like, "Wow! I didn't know someone wrote a 'your mamma's so fat' joke in tiny letters on the wall...Ha! I'll have to use that one." That sort of thing. So, take care and keep it clear!

1 Crunch, 2 Crunch, 3 Crunch...Oh, Cake!

2009-04-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

With each step I take in my colorful, summery wedges, I am reminded of my little Sunday morning "workout." I have to use quotations because I doubt that what I did would be considered an actual workout, but because it will makes me feel better to call it that, I will. Somewhere along the course of my life I went from Ms. Super Active to Ms. Sits On Her Ass, and I can't figure out how that transition came about. It's pretty sucky, though, so I decided that Sunday was a good day to get out of my habit of being inactive. Jesus wasn't the only one experiencing a resurrection this Easter.

I began with a basic Pilates DVD that I managed to find and dust off. About 1/3 of the way through I said to myself, "The hell with this shit! I'm doing something else." My tolerance levelf for things that irritate me is amazing. All 4 years of high school I was on the dance team--The Sterling Stars--and we started everyday off by stretching. So, I decided that I would start my newfound empowerment with some stretches, reverting back to what we did in dance class. I quickly learned how pathetically out of shape I've become. There were stretches that I used to do that displayed all kinds of flexibility, like the splits. The only thing I split now are my pants. In my younger years, I used to be able to sit down with my legs at a wide V and lean completely over, touching my head to the floor. Sunday, I was lucky to get 1/4 of the way to the floor. It was pitiful! After some self esteem-lowering stretches I did some basic moves, like jumping jacks, squats, crunches, calf lifts and weights. Now, when I say weights, I mean that I took one of Adam's 25 lbs barbells and lifted it with both hands. One rep of 20. Pretty impressive.

Today I am feeling the wrath of my new go-getter attitude. My calves and arms are so sore, and I have to ask myself, "Was it worth it?" I know I have to do it for more than one day, but patience is not a virtue I have. I want results now! Is that too much to ask? Is it too much to ask for donuts and chocolate to make one lose weight rather than gain it? I'm just saying. Just throwing out some food for thought. Now that's an expression that I can get behind. Food for thought. Hey, I need to think up good ideas all the time. That's all I'm saying. I only scarf down kolaches and cake because it's vital that I come up with new ideas. It has nothing to do with how freakin' good that crap tastes.

So here we are at the end of the day, and I am left contemplating whether or not to continue my wussy workout this evening. The problem is finding something that's fun, and in no way is sweating, panting and wishing I was dead fun. Maybe that's just me. A colleague of mine introduced an idea that she herself has tried. Whether or not she carried through with it is null and void. She suggested going to Half Priced Books and getting a really old workout tape from like the 80s and working out to that. For some reason most people get captivated watching stupid TV shows or late night infommercials. There's just something about bad acting and lame gimmicks that gets me. So, the idea is that if I get an old workout video I will be so intrigued to watch those big-haired, leotard wearing ladies jump around that, in laughing at them, I might actually get up and join in. That way I can do one of my favorite hobbies (making fun of people) and burn calories at the same time. It's a win-win!

Well, it's that time. Got to go home and start dinner. Will it be fried chicken with a side of cheesecake and fudge brownies or a four cheese pizza complimented by a three-layer chocolate cake with ice cream? Now why I can't lose weight just baffles me.

Don't Egg Me On!

2009-04-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here, twirling my gum around my finger waiting for something profound to hit me so that I can blog about it....I got nothin'. The pressure to write something deep or clever or funny is a lot more intense now that I know there are two people who have my blog saved to their favorites...and when I say two PEOPLE, I mean my mom and dad. But still, knowing that they can so easily click a button and pull up my blog makes me conscious of my desire to create a post that is worth a read....I tried going off on a tangent in hopes that while rambling a good blog idea would hit me. Not so much.

I keep replaying my weekend in my head to see if there was a life experience that I want to share, but all my experiences were pretty mundane. I mean, I got a TV. Who hasn't done that? And nothing exciting happened while we were getting it, so any chance of an interesting blog post from that adventure is dead. I also went shopping this weekend, and while that was tantalizing for me, it would do nothing but bore you. And then there was Easter at my aunt's. No family dramas unfolded....although we probably had more deviled eggs present than the rest of the neighborhood combined.

See, my family, we LOVES us some deviled eggs. And rightfully so because we make some damn good ones. There were around 10 deviled egg eaters present and accounted for this Easter. Let's say the average person, and note that I say average, which my family is not, gets 4 deviled eggs each as a nice snack before the main meal. And take into account that there are other snacks as well. That would mean that 40 deviled eggs would suffice. (I know, I'm quick on that math) But oh no! 40 deviled eggs ain't nothin' for my family. You see, we had just under 100 deviled eggs in total. I made 72 of them and my aunt made another 24. A normal family would think, "Wow! That's way too many," but as I mentioned, we aren't a normal family. In about a 2 hour span we were able to down all but about 15 eggs. That's something that I can't help but be amazed and astounded by. This Easter has set the bar for 2010. C'mon fam, lets see how many we can hork down next year!...Oh, the noble goals we set for ourselves.

A Nose Isn't Just For Picking...Or so I'm told

2009-04-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

So everyday I get queries from Help A Reporter Out or HARO, and I read through them to see if any of my clients can be a resource for one of the reporters. Yesterday I came across two queries I found interesting...and by interesting I mean bizarre. One was called 'Smelling On the Job.' Now, at first I thought this reporter was looking for people who stunk, and I wondered who would come forward and proclaim, "Umm yes, I stink. I don't shower or use deodorant. Write about me!" Then once I scrolled down to read the details I discovered that the reporter wants people whose sense of smell is vital to their job...so she wants to talk to rescue dogs? So I got to thinking about what jobs do require a keene sense of smell...and I'm still thinking. Maybe a chef. I mean, they use their sense of taste a lot, and taste is connected to smell. That's the best I could come up with. I'm curious as to what this reporter expected to get in terms of responses. "Hi. I'm a stay at home mom, and I depend on my nose to tell me when my toddlers shat himself."

I also saw a query for trail mix ingredients. Now that caught my eye because it has to do with food, and to remix a popular Salt 'n Pepa song--What's my weakness? Food! Ok, then. Apparently this blogger has a page all about different trail mix recipes for people who need a snack on the go or want something to add to their kid's lunch. And what I got from the query is that anything can be trail mix if you simply say, "This is my trail mix." I thought that was perfect. I will get a bowl and throw in Hershey Kisses, Whoopers, Milk Duds and M & Ms and call that trail mix. When people see me shoveling it into my mouth and look at me with eyes that say, "Fat ass," I'll say, "Oh no, this is my trail mix, so it's OK." I'm sure that reporter wanted healthy ingredients like raisins, peanuts, dried papaya and such, but I think my trail mix recipe is much more exciting. Don't be surprised if you see it on your grocer's shelf soon. I'm on the phone with the patent company right now. Wait. They want a name for the product? Ummm...lets go with 'On the Trail to Cellulite' mix. It will be a hit!

Calling on Sacrates & Aristotle

2009-04-08T10:03:00.000-07:00

Lets get philosophical for a moment....Man, my college Human Situation teacher would be shocked to hear those words come from me. But I digress. I was just thinking about phrases and sayings that people use, and one in particular hit a cord with me and made the wheels start turning, as they say. The phrase in question is: ignorance is bliss or what you don't know can't hurt you. We've all heard it and, I'm sure, used it, but have we ever analyzed it? Normally I'd answer that with, "Umm, hell no I haven't analyzed it! Why would I do that?" And because most people would agree, I will unravel the expression for you. Ignorance can be bliss only if you don't know that what you don't know would help you if you knew it. (I know, so reread the sentence and try again) Example. Say you have a trig test, and once you get started you realize that you don't know the formula to answer the questions. Are you happy? No. You're gonna fail. So in that case, ignorance (you not knowing the formula) was not bliss, and the reason is wasn't bliss is because you knew that what you didn't know (the formula) would have helped you should you have known it. Now lets say that your having a good self esteem day, hair's looking good, outfit is smockin', but what you don't know is that there is an awkward stain on the back of your pants. Maybe you sat in mud or on someone's gum. Regardless of what it is or how it got there, you are ignorant to its existence, so your upbeat self confidence is unaffected, you're happy...but only because you don't know that stain is there and you don't know that you don't know that. Should you discover the stain later on, then we're back to ignorance not being bliss because the knowledge of the stain would shatter your self esteem, and you would replay you're whole day trying to think of the people that saw it--not blissful.

There are all kinds of expressions that, if you stop to think about what you just said, are kind of crazy. Take 'eat shit and grin' for example. Really? Could one ever eat shit and then grin about it? I know I couldn't. Did someone hawk a big loogie one day and then say, "Damn! That looks just like my sister's dog," and hence we have 'spittin' image.' Or how about 'a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush'? What the hell does that even mean? I just think it's funny how we've grown up with these kinds of sayings and never think about what they mean or how they even got started. Know what? After everything I hear I'm going to start saying, "well, piss on a log and the snake eats the rabbit," and see if it catches on : ) I have no idea what it means, but meaning doesn't matter.

Well, that was my attempt at being philosophical. It only proves that I am in PR for a reason and why I'm not following the footsteps of Sacrates.

A Vital Piece of Advice: Procrastinate Now!

2009-04-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

If you've ever watched Ellen Degeneres' standup you know that her comedy is not only HILARIOUS but provides a life lesson. One of my favorite Ellen life lessons (learned from her Here and Now tour) is that we should procrastinate now, before it's too late. I love that because if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. We are always in such a rush, trying to get everything done as quickly as possible. Why? Because our ultimate goal everyday is to save up as much time as we can to do nothing. We want to be able to do nothing at all. So to do that, we run around like crazy people doing this and that and taking energy shots so we can work faster. Well Ellen makes the point that we aren't guaranteed that extra chunk of time later on, which is why we need to use it now...by procrastinating. So take this advice to heart and go forth and do nothing.

Top 10 Reasons to Procrastinate

This is me!

2009-04-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well, since this is my first blog I guess I should start out as any first-time meeting should, with an introduction. My name is Sarah, common, but I like it. There was a period of time when I was 8 that I insisted on being called Sady because my great grandmother (also named Sarah) went by that name. Needless to day it didn't stick, so Sarah it is. I have a degree in journalism and have been working in public relations for almost 5 years. I will venture to say that writing/pr is in my genes as one of my aunts is a writer/editor and the other a PR superwoman. And to think that I started college intent on med school. Ha!

I absolutely LOVE reading and writing. Curling up with a good book is one of my favorite things to do. I like all kinds of books: mystery/suspense, crime, history, etc. I discovered a used bookstore in my neighborhood that I've fallen in love with. It's called Kaboom. They have tons of really great books. Writing has been a passion of my since as long as I can remember, and I hope to write my own book someday. What said book will be about, that I don't know yet, but I am confident that it will come to me in due time. I don't know what it is about holding a pencil over a blank sheet of paper that makes me feel like anything is possible. Knowing that at any time something amazing could suddenly drain from my head, down my arm and out the end of that pencil is so exciting.

I am an animal lover with a particular love for dogs, having 3 myself: Rhodesian Ridgeback (Lola), Yorkie (Dax) and a Poodle-mix (Harley). I like to call Harley a Dalmoodle (Poodle+Dalmation), and you can see why when you look at his coat. Those 3 crazy dogs are my babies. They are spoiled rotten, and I admit it proudly : )

I was born in Baytown but reside in Houston, where most of my family is as well. My family is my world, and I must confess that I believe myself to have the best family ever. I also cherish my friends and so look forward to those evenings spent drinking wine and traveling down Memory Lane. I love the trips I take with my college friends because no matter how carefully we plan out every detail something goes wrong, and it makes for the best stories later on...if you are one of the trip participants then you know what I mean : )

Well, that's me in a nutshell. I hope you're not too bored. Be forewarned, though, I am not a CSI or a daredevil or a celebrity, so don't expect gory death scene details or a play by play of a cliff jumping experiment or juicy gossip about the Twilight cast because I got nothing there...What you read is what you get.

Sarah