Red is my color afterall...

Well, I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but I can't contain my excitement. On Sunday, I had my first film audition ever....Let me backtrack a bit. I recently decided to get a hobby because, aside from work, I just stayed at home and got lazy. Acting has always been something I wanted to try, so I joined the Houston Film Industry to see if I could be a part of some local, short films on the weekends. Through the organization, I receive invites to casting calls and heard about one on Sunday for a feature-length film called Shut Your Blog Off that only films on Saturdays and Sundays, which is perfect. I mustered up the courage to go and felt it went well. I had my lines memorized pretty quickly, and the person I read with was very laid back and made me feel at ease. That was such a relief because I was sooo nervous going into it.

This morning I got an email from the producer/director asking if we could meet this evening to talk about the film. We met at Cafe Express in Uptown Park and went over the film's plot and direction. Mid way through he tells me that he wants to offer the female lead to me. I am still stunned. I just can't believe I got the part!! I wanted it really bad but didn't expect to get a lead part on my first audition. I am super excited to get started, which is good because the plan is to begin filming this Saturday. After the film is totally complete, post-production and such, there will be a screening where the public can come view the film in an actual movie theater. I am going to be seen on the big screen!!!! I'm freaking out here! This is so awesome and amazing and surreal.

If you want to check out the film go to http://www.shutyourblogoff.com/. You can get a quick summary there. My part will be a reporter named Rene who is new to the news station's staff, as is the movie's male lead reporter. Tough she is welcomed, he is treated as an outcast, and when he discovers a good news story--a healthcare scandal--he is met with ridicule from everyone else on the team...except Rene. Rene is the only one who believes him and helps him when he decides to investigate the story on his own. It's got a lot of great aspects in it, like comedy, suspense, drama and intrigue. I'm very excited to be working on it and just so thankful to have this opportunity.

I will keep everyone up to date as filimg gets rolling, and when it's time for the Houston premiere, you're all invited!

How can there be self-help “groups”?

For some weird reason I got to thinking about the stupid things that come out of people's mouth, which led to the pondering of the stupid questions people ask, and that gave way to a line of thought about rhetorical questions...There are some funny and thoughtful ones out there. That was my one line of thought. So to the Internet I went, where I pulled together a short list of the rhetorical questions that made me laugh. 

(From www.InnocentEnglish.com)

1. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

2. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

3. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

4. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

5. If deaf people go to court is it still called a hearing>?

6. If you choke a smurf, what color will it turn?

(From www.Englishforums.com)

7. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say 
"Hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

8. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a 
horrible crisp that no one would eat?

9. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Haha!)

What's in a name?

Courtesy of Ashpash...

1. Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names)
Mom has no middle name, so we'll use her nickname. NetteNette Ray. You might be a redneck if...

2. Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s dad & father’s dad)
Tilden Raymond

3. Star Wars Name (the first 2 letters of your last name & first 4 letters of your first name)
Stsara. What the...?

4. Detective Name (favorite color & favorite animal)
Purple Monkey. That sounds like a freaky bedroom move. "Yeah man, I gave here the purple monkey and she went bananas."

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name & city where you live)
Michelle Houston. Whitney's sister.

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color & favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “The” to the beginning)
The Green Apple Martini

7. Fly Name (first 2 letters of first name & last 2 letters of your last name)
Sabs. Kinda like Babs but not.

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor & favorite cookie)
Peppermint Oatmeal, dawg. Don't hate.

9. Rock Star Name (current pet’s name & current street name)
I have 3 current pets, so I can be Lola Shearn, Dax Shearn or Harley Shearn. That's my whole band. Two brothers and their sister.

10. Porn Name (first pet’s name & street you grew up on)
Lola Tamarach...not so porno-ish

You're so skinny, I can save you from drowning by tossing you a Cheerio!

Whoo hoo! Good...no great news, everyone! Yesterday I was able to stick two arms down my pants without unbuttoning them!! (How many times can a girl say that without getting a weird look?) That's how loose my clothes are getting. Pretty cool feeling, I might add. 

(FYI, that's not me...yet) My body has completely adjusted to taking in less, and in fact, it's now hard for me to eat everything I am supposed to eat each day. I get full fast and don't want to eat anymore. Fullness never stopped me before, which is why I am on a weight loss plan, but now I look at food different. 

Before it was like, "Yum! Eating this chocolate cake is like taking little bites of Heaven, and even though my pants are busting at the seams, I'm going to finish it," but now that it's a piece of chicken, it's like, "Hmm, I'm full and this chicken ain't anything special, so I'm calling it quits." I don't live to eat but eat to live. Eating is now just something I do to get in my nutrients and stay healthy, not a hobby that I partake in when I'm bored or upset. Everyone mark this day on your calendar. I am no longer a food addict. I'm still going to my FLA meetings (Food Lovers Anonymous) and will continue with my 12 steps (that's 12 stair steps, by the way), but it's safe to say that I am cured.

It will be new clothes shopping time before long...too bad I'm broke from joining the QWLC. I'm not complaining, though. I would rather be broke with loose pants than bankin' with tight pants. 

That's not me either...just want to clear that up. So, progress is being made, and it's pretty awesome to know that I'm on the right track. Maybe I'll get that lady to join QWLC. I mean, look at her face. It just screams, "HELP ME!" Or maybe it says, "Oh no! This tight waist band isn't doing any favors for the cupcakes, burritos and queso I just ate. Uh oh! Turtle head. The bathroom's near by, right?"

Oh, so the belt is supposed to come together in the front!

Well, it has been a full 4 days since my last post...well, I don't count weekends, so 2 days since my last post. You doing OK? Oh, good. Whew! Sweat off the brow. I would feel immensely guilty had I made you stay glued to your computer awaiting my post, the stench of hopeless abandonment seeping from your pores, dark circles under your eyes marking the days you've gone without sleep, a homemade toilet resting by your feet so that you didn't risk missing my blog while you ran to the bathroom. Had that happened, I would have felt bad and solely responsible...actually, that's a lie. I probably would have scheduled a talk with you so that we could discuss a new life path for you to follow. But since everyone's OK, lets move on...

I am on day 7 of my new diet, and things are going well. I see the scale drop more and more with each daily weigh in, and that's always exciting. My pants are fitting lose, and I feel more energized. Whoo hoo! I am getting plenty of food on my current plan, which is a relief because I always worry that strict diets will leave me feeling hungry. Not the case with this one--it's Quick Weight Loss Center, by the way. I eat several times throughout the day, and I get everything from starches, fruits, veggies, protein, dairy and even fat. Yes, that's right. I not only get some fat on this diet, I am required to have it. Granted it's only 1 tbsp of butter or mayo, but hey, when I get to smear that butter on my toast everyday I am reminded that God loves me and wants to protect me from the torture that is a life without butter.

I am SUPPOSED to go to the clinic to weigh in everyday for 2 weeks and then 3x a week after that, but I just go when I have the time. I mean, it's close to my work so M-F is convenient, but I'm not driving over there on  Saturday for a 5 min. visit. Sorry. Plus, I have a feeling they roll their eyes at me when I leave because I have voiced my opinion about the prices of their products. I have refused to buy them because they are all optional. They do not hinder the program in any way, so why would I spend all that extra money for something I don't have to have? Example. They want you to take EFAs like Omega 3, 6 & 9. I'm agree, that's good for you to take. Their bottle cost $40, while the bottle I got from Target cost me $10. One packet of their salad dressing is like $11, while I got a whole bottle of lite dressing at Randalls for $3. See my point? So I would bet that I am that rare client that puts up a resistance and doesn't just go along with everything they suggest, and who wants to be the consultant to handle THAT lady? I can't believe I have become THAT lady. When I worked for an oral surgeon I used to hate dealing with stubborn patients who didn't listen to me, and now I've become one. Oh well, what can you do?

So other than the jacked up cost of their products, I am liking the overall program and would recommend it if you're wanting to shed some pounds but know you can't count on yourself to keep the will power strong. There's something about having other people hold you accountable that motivates you, ya know? Knowing that I have to go in there and have someone else weigh me and check my food journal makes me want to follow the rules and show them I can do this. Sure I have weak moments filled with temptation, but it's how I react in those moments that matters. The other day I wanted an oatmeal raisin cookie soooo bad, but did I have one? No! And last night I watched Adam eat a Hershey's bar without any desire to have a piece myself. No that's progress, people. This could very well be the program that sticks. 

Well, it's time for my Strawberry Kiwi smoothie (QWLC supplement). Got to get that mid morning snack in before lunch. Cheers!

Order's Up!

Well, I broke my goal to blog every weekday for a month...I'm so ashamed of myself. But in my defense, I had a good reason not to blog yesterday. I was at the hospital from about 8:30 am to 4:00 pm . In the labor and delivery ward, no less. Yes, I was 9 months pregnant and had no idea. I went into the hospital with stomach pains, and what do you know? Baby! NOT!! I really was in labor and delivery but with my Cousin, Carrie. I was dubbed videographer for the day, and quite frankly, I suck at it. Mark that profession off the list. Carrie was induced yesterday morning, and I was invited to be a witness to the miracle of life. I am honored that she would include me such a milestone. Upon arrival we (myself, Carrie, husband Jason and friend Dee) began putting in our orders to the universe. What does that mean, you ask? I will share the knowledge with you...

It became popular in my family as a result of my mother. She read this book called The Secret that explains how powerful a thought can be, that we make our reality based on what we think. So in essence, if there is something you want in life you simply think about it as if you know it's going to happen. You picture yourself getting that promotion, you see yourself living in that new house you want, you visualize yourself winning that award. And by doing that, you make your thoughts a reality. No, this isn't a cult or a religion. It's simply a way to start thinking more positively. If you think positive, positive things will happen. Point blank. Now somewhere in the book it talks about placing your oder with the universe, which is basically saying what you want outloud as if it is a statement of truth. And it has to be in positive terms. So not, "I hope this plane doesn't crash," but, "We are going to land safely in Colorado." It's positive (land safely), and it's stated as a fact.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, we are placing our orders for the time of delivery. We say, "baby will be here at noon." Noon came and went. "Baby will be here at 1:00." That was a no go. That's when I said that we should call my mom because she's the one with the power (mainly because she has actually read the book, while we just place orders like we know what we're doing). I ask her to place an order for the delivery time. At this point it's a little after 1:00, and Carrie is just 4cm. My mom places her order as 2:22pm. The doctor doesn't think it will happen. Well, in about 15 min. Carries goes from 4cm to 10cm and feels the pressure to push. Nurses come, doctor comes, and baby Max is born at 2:22pm on the dot. Can you believe that?! Everyone in the room was freaked out by that. The nurse proclaimed that she is buying that book for sure. Even my mom herself couldn't believe it. 

So from now on, when I want something in life, not like a new outfit but a life goal, then I'm calling in the artillery--my mom--and having her place my order. Apparently she has the right touch. She and the universe are in cahoots, best buds it seems. That's a cool person to know. 

And on the baby note, Max is perfect, just precious. Carrie is amazing! She made the process look so easy. I mean, 1 and 1/2 pushes, and there he is. I was so expecting to be traumatized and grossed out, but I wasn't at all. I was like, "I can do that."...Until the nurse told me that it's not always like that. Damn! No babies on the agenda anytime soon, though, so no worries for now.

Here he is, ladies and gents! Mr. Maxwell (Max) Chris Kolter. Isn't he a doll?

Detox!

Today is day one of my three day detox. I am getting my body prepared to start consuming different foods, foods that are good for me, not just the ones that taste like heaven and are filled with calories. This also means that today is a funeral of sorts, for I must lay to rest all those brownies, cheeseburgers, pizzas, donuts and cake. I bid you a bitter sweet farewell, my fat-filled companions. You will be missed...especially come tomorrow when I'm going through withdraw, when I'm curled up in the corner of my room foaming at the mouth and pleading with someone to give me just one bite of chocolate cake, just one bite.

My instructions are to eat 2 eggs for breakfast, which is cool because who doesn't love a good egg? You know I do, just read my "Don't Egg Me On" post. Then I am to snack on half an orange. Cool. I like oranges. And I am to have as much meat (protein) and raw green veggies as I can take. I can't use any salt on these foods nor any condiments, and those who know me will testify that I could swim in some ketchup. So I went to the store and bought broccoli, celery, cucumbers, salad and enough chicken to last me 3 days. The big hunk of meat consumption is going to be what I potentially cringe from because although I enjoy a nice steak or piece of grilled chicken, I am a fruit and veggie person. So bring on the celery and cucumbers...not too stoked about all the chicken. However, it's just 3 days, and I can tolerate anything for 3 days...except maybe stupid people. I can't tolerate them for 5 minutes.

Because I forgot to buy oranges last night, I went to Randalls on my lunch break and grabbed a few...along with a rotisserie chicken because I don't have any chicken made yet. I am allowed to eat rotisserie chicken as long as I remove the skin, which just so happens to be my favorite part. But, I did as I was supposed to and removed all the juicy, flavor-enriched skin. My dogs were happy about it, though. I then chopped up a cucumber and that was my side dish. Nothing like skinless chicken and a cucumber to satisfy your appetite. She knows how I feel.

I usually follow my lunch with something sweet, like a chai tea or a cookie...but not today...or tomorrow...or the next day. I'm gonna stick this out, though, because if nothing can motivate someone to shed a few pounds, paying a lot of money to do will. Since I had to pay for this program I am going by the book. Nothing would piss me off more than to dish out the cash and get nothing in return. 

So, here I am...with a headache from carb withdraw, reminding myself that this will be over after Friday. Phase 2 starts on Saturday, and though I'm sure it wont be all chips, bread and pasta, it will be better than this.