The rantings of a crazy, peed on pizza

(GREAT BIG SIGH) I'm a bit discombobulated. Lots going on. Lots on my mind. Let me sum it up for you here because I know you have nothing better to do than read the goings on of my life...Which probably makes you a loser, but I'm not all judgy so don't sweat it.

First of all, the audition I had this past Saturday was the fastest audition EVER! Now I know I've only been on a grand total of 3 auditions, but I consulted Brad about it...that's Brad Pitt, by the way...and he even agreed that it was the fastest audition of all time. I checked in, filled out two forms, went into a room full of people, watched someone audition, I auditioned and then watched someone else audition all in 10 minutes. It was like the speed dating of auditions. I walked out of there having NO IDEA how to feel about it. 

I mean, the director went through everyone super fast. No one was asked to read their monologue, and people who had more than 5 lines in their given scene didn't even get to finish. It was weird. I think there was a time crunch happening. And I came to this conclusion because the director kept saying, "Sorry. I don't mean to be brash, but I'm running out of time." I know, I'm a real detective putting two and two together like that. So anyway, I felt blah afterward and was a bit POed that I paid $6 to park when I could have paid $2. I didn't do the $2 option because the director's email said to be prepared to stay 90 min. So there's that. 

Moving on...I just found out that my dog, Lola, has urine incontinence. Translation. She pees in her sleep. And she sleeps in bed with me. Wonderful. She has no idea she is peeing and doesn't even wake up during or after. It isn't until my foot stumbles upon a wet spot that I know she has peed. Then everyone has to get up at 4am while I strip the bed, and then we all sleep elsewhere. She is now on medication and will have to be on it for the rest of her life. My poor baby : ( This probably explains why she's been so down lately. She's ashamed. She knows peeing inside is a no-no, and even though she has no control over this at all, I think she still feels like she's been a bad girl. 

So I am being an understanding mommy. I tell her it's OK and that the medicine should start working soon. In the meantime, she goes outside right before bedtime, and then I hope for the best. Silver lining. I have super clean sheets. I do ask that you pray for the medicine to work because if not we have to take more extensive action. Urine incontinence is due to a low level of estrogen. Last resort is that Lola will have to get hormone injections, which carries side effects. Don't want to travel that road so please pray.

Oh no, I'm not done bitching yet. There's more. MY FACE! All this stress has made my face retaliate in the worst way...OK, maybe not in the worst way. My face could have fallen off completely, which really would be the worst thing, but it has done the second worst thing. Broken out. Ugh!!! Hate it. True story. This kid ran up and bit my face today mistaking it for a pepperoni pizza. 

Can you believe that? Well don't. It's a lie. I know I said it was a true story, but I was lying. No, that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe everything else I've said so far. Get over your trust issues. Lets work past this. OK. True story for reals. When I look at myself in the mirror I throw up a little....Yes, that's technically a lie too, but not completely. I FEEL like throwing up, I just have a tough stomach. Otherwise I totally would. To add salt to the wound (the wound being my vanity), I am supposed to be in a short film this weekend. Who wants to see this mug on film? Not me. I am desperately hoping the shoot gets rescheduled. Please, please, please.

So yeah, that's what I got going for me. I could go on and on, but we both know you'd cry, both for me and because of me. Lets save those tears. Hope your life is less stressful than mine. Adios.

WHOOP WHOOP! ANOTHER AUDITION!

First let me update you on the last post I made about an audition. It was for the part of Summer on a TV show called Toonagers. (You can catch up here is you missed that one). I didn't get the part of Summer, but the producers were very impressed by my audition and have asked me to take on another role. What that will be is to be determined. They are in the process of creating said character for me. Once they have a list of possible roles for me to play they will let me choose the one I like best. So even though I didn't get the role I read for, I have still been asked to be on the show and have received some pretty awesome compliments. The producers said that of all the auditions, no one had anywhere near my level of professionalism and craft, and they said I looked great on camera. Pretty cool to hear, right? 

They wanted me to meet the lead actor, so I went to see his band perform this past Saturday at The Mink downtown. They're really good--Electric Attitude is the name if you want to check them out. I got to meet him briefly, as he was busy making the rounds, and he mentioned that he watched my audition tape and said I was really good. Hearing these things from people I don't know feels really good. As someone just getting their toes wet in acting and having had no training whatsoever, it's easy to wonder if you're any good, if you even have the slightest bit of talent. Seems as though I'm not too shabby...either that or these people are lying to me so that I don't drowned myself in my tears. I'm gonna go with the former here.

While this is going on I submitted my headshot and resume to a director--Travis Ammons--who is working on a film in Houston called The Suicide Note (or Suicide Notes). It's a darker film but one with a mix of comedy. Here's the synopsis: Struggling playwright Julian Parker has sold his first play, THE SUICIDE NOTE. Despite the play ending in tragedy (the lead commits suicide), crazy naked director and local theatre legend Don Paulson wants to produce the play for a limited-three night-engagement. His gimmick is to cast three different actors in the lead role, each of whom are willing to commit suicide, literally, on stage at the end of the show. This dark satire about where modern media and reality TV are possibly taking us deals with the playwright and his moral dilemma over having these possible suicides on his conscience as well as delving into the lives and relationships of the director (and his sexy, money hungry producer) and the three “suicidal” actors who are cast in the play.

Interesting, right? I think so. It's slated to have some known actors involved, which is exciting. So like I said, I sent my headshot and asked if there is a role for a young, caucasian, blond female, and I got an email back from Travis that said my audition is this Sat. at 3pm. He attached a brief scene from the script (I am reading for the part of  the punk girls. Which one they are looking for me to play, I don't know at this point. I may read for all three. One of them is one of the girls who commits suicide in the play). I also have to prepare a 30 second theatrical monologue. I think I'm going to read a monologue from Louise Hovick aka Gypsy Rose Lee from the play Gypsy. Got to start prepping tonight : ) I have the scene from the film memorized, I just need to work on the details on the characters' persona.

So, wish me luck! I am nervous and excited. 

My Trip to Playa del Carmen!!

As some of you may know and others may not, I recently returned from a girls trip in Playa del Carmen. (First day there)

Hands down best vaca ever! Loved every moment of it...especially the massages on the beach. Yep, that's what I said. On. The. Beach. Be jealous...No seriously, be jealous.

I went with me two besties, Carrie & Julie, and had a great time. We sunbathed on the beautiful beach, went snorkeling, drank in the pool, ate, ate and ate some more, met tons of cool people, went out at night. It was just awesome! And to sweeten the deal, we had this in our hotel room...

Oh yeah! And how much was it to drink this alcohol? NADA! That's right, free. It was included in our package. How cool is that? Pretty dang if you ask me.

Because Julie and Carrie are two of the fun and funniest girls I know, we had a lot of laughs on our trip. And some crazy things happened too. Like, I had a spider monkey jump up on my shoulder.

And while I was walking to the beach one morning, a gardner asked me if I liked coconut. I said sure. Next thing I know he whips out a machete (a MACHETE, y'all!), grabs a coconut he got from one of the hotel tress, carves out the top, sticks a straw in it and gives it to me. Not an everyday thing for me. So I continue my walk to the beach with a huge ass coconut in my hand sipping juice from a straw. Then, while chillaxin' in the kids pool (no kids in it at the time), we saw this...

We named him Fernando. Not sure what the hell he is. He looked like a rat-pig thing. And I got stung by a bee for the first time in my life. I made it 25 years without getting stung by anything. I must say that I feel all grown up now. It stung for a bit, so nurse Carrie went up to this group of people (that knew no english by the way), asked for a cig, broke it a part and put the tobacco on my wound. Not sure what she was going for there. Apparently it's better to use dip.

I will say that we were all surprised by how European it is there. We met no other Americans. But we did meet people from Wales, England, Norway, Scotland, Spain, Italy. It was awesome! Being around all those accents was so cool. Being around all those topless women and speedo-wearing men...kinda weird.

I will also note that I did get color on this trip, brown not red, which is rare. Pretty exciting for a whitey like me to get a natural tan. I like it! Can't wait to go back : )