Sawyer Park, I dub thee King Douche Bag. Now kiss my ass!

I am livid! Why? Because last night a Houston sports bar - Sawyer Park on Washington Ave - would not let my best friend in their establishment because, get this, his pant legs were too baggy. For real? Like for real, for real? Turns out they were for real.

News flash Sawyer Park, you're an effing sports bar not an upscale club. People wear casual clothes to sports bars in case you missed that memo. And let me make the point that my friend's pant legs were no baggier than any other guy's pants that we saw inside. No. Baggier. It was the lamest excuse I had ever heard of, and I am outraged and appalled. Lets makes this clear, we are not talking about baggy pants in the sense that the waist was at his knees. He does not sag his jeans. The actual portion of his pants leg was too baggy according to the Ass Wipes at Sawyer Park. What they hell do they want, effing skinny jeans?

The douchey doorman could not even maintain eye contact with us because he knew he was being a shit bag. When I asked for the manager, that ball sweat asshole could only keep saying, "We have a strict dress code." Oh really? So you need to be snazy to go to a sports bar now? That means the guy inside with the t-shirt, khaki shorts and tennis shoes on should have been asked to leave, right? Oh no wait. That guy was white. Yep, I went there. I pulled out the race card. And I'm white. It was obvious that the real reason they would not let my friend was in because he is black. And here's the kicker: he's not even black. He is Puerto Rican and just looks black. As we looked around the bar, we noticed nothing but white people there last night. Coincidence? I do not think so.

So Sawyer Park, I hope termites infest your wood-structured bar and rid this world of such a trashy, ass backwards, piece of shit establishment.

The ultimate look in douchebaggery